Sometimes I think the Bible should come with a warning label.  Since it doesn’t, I will give you one:  “WARNING, CONTENTS INSIDE WILL CAUSE SIDE-EFFECTS”.  I think the reason I avoided reading the Bible until it was made a requirement to attend God’s school, was that I was afraid to know what was in there.  I was afraid there was going to be a bunch of rules that I didn’t know about.  You know what they say: “what you don’t know can’t be held against you”.  It was probably some of the dumbest logic I have ever used in my life.  What am I some mob boss who doesn’t want to know the details of a hit he sent his guys out on, so he can deny it later?  What a whack-job I am. lol

When God enrolled me in Bible 101, the first 6 months was nothing but reading the Bible.  I told you some of the things I learned during that time in my last chapter.  God gave me some peace and relief from stress and worry.  He taught me that I shouldn’t be anxious over things I can’t control, and He helped me understand more about heaven.  One of the side-effects I got from reading the Bible, was an overwhelming desire to share what I was learning.  The stuff in those pages was so incredible, that I had to share it.  Naturally, I started with the people I was most comfortable with, my family.  

  

I remember, asking God to give me boldness and courage to tell you guys about God.  I got Haley & Nikk’s email addresses, as well as the emails for my sister-in-law, my parents, the in-laws, my sisters, Steph and Zach.  My plan was to start sharing Bible verses through that family email chain.   I was pretty nervous the first time I sent one out.  I started with just a Bible verse, then as I got bolder, I added some of my commentary on it.   It’s hard to believe I was nervous about sending out an email, when I would end up doing live Bible study on Facebook a few months later.

I started the thereishopemyson.com website right at the end of my first semester in Bible 101, and would use it to post the same sort of things I was emailing the family.  I started giving more detail and comments on the verses as I went along.  The only school major that God offers is in Biblical Studies, so I didn’t have to worry about making that decision.  There is only one book, and you can get it for free.  If you know the One who runs the place, tuition is not a concern, and you will get help with room and board.  Wow, doesn’t all this sound too good to be true?  For me it was! 

Everyone is looking for wisdom and learning that will help them find success, happiness, contentment, and peace in their lives, right?   Nope, not everyone.  Some will always think they can get the same thing from worldly sources. 

My first goal was to help Zach understand and know who God is.  We started going to one of the big churches here, and we were pretty consistent with it.  Every time I went to church it seemed like the message was tailored to me.  It was almost too hard to believe, but I lived through it, so I know it was real.   I still have all the notes I wrote on the church bulletins during that time.

It was getting pretty obvious with everything that was happening to me, that God was training me up for something.  It never felt like training though.  It felt like reading the greatest piece of literature, history and wisdom ever written, and then finding out more and more every time I read it.   I wanted more…I needed more.   Does that sound normal?  Do you know anyone who is obsessed with studying the Bible?  Do you know anyone who also had the time to study it as much as they wanted to?  I didn’t think so.  This is how you know it is a sign.  You already know a lot of my story, and you know I wasn’t picked to do this because of my qualifications.  There is a saying out there that “God doesn’t call the prepared, He prepares the called”.  My life is an obvious picture of that being true. 

I started Bible study for Zach.  I figured that I’d record it so he could listen to it the way you youngins like to.  I quickly moved to doing them live on Facebook.  I never pressured Zach to listen to the studies, and I never tried to sell him on anything the Bible talks about.  I went through the Old-Testament verse-by-verse, and it took me 2 years and around 60 videos.  The result was that Zach asked to be baptized, and I got to be the one to baptize him in my mom’s backyard pool!  I can’t tell you what a relief and a joy that day was. Now I don’t have to worry about Zach’s eternity, and I know I get to spend forever with him.  Who cares what job he has or what he accomplishes here, because that day will go down as the proudest of him I will ever be.  You can tell someone you believe in God, but until you show it by getting baptized, no one really knows.  I remember thinking maybe this is the reason God had me study the Bible; just to teach Zach. 

I know of at least one of you guys, who was going to be baptized, but thankfully backed out.  You have questions, and weren’t sure what you believe yet.  Zach had no question.  That doesn’t mean he knew all the answers, he just had no doubt God is real and that he should be baptized.  It’s one of those: “if you know you know kind” of deals.  It shouldn’t take convincing, and you just know you need to do it.  I had very little understanding when I was dunked in a tank at Immanuel Baptist Church, but I knew I wanted to do it.  I’ll tell you more about baptism when we get to the reason why we do it.

When I found out Zach was saved, (he told me he believed, and then got baptized to show everyone he believed) I moved on to thinking more about you guys.  I now had a few years of Bible study under my belt, and I was ready to start some videos on the New Testament.  I had a lot of momentum, and two years doing live Bible study is a long time.  But for some reason, I never started anything new after that.  I tried and tried, but soon realized that there was still a lot for me to learn.  God can slow us down or even stop us from doing something whenever He wants to.  I tried so hard to get new videos or Bible studies done, but I felt like I was stuck in the mud.  I was bummed every day I sat there getting nothing done.

There is this Percy Jackson movie where they end up in the “Lotus Hotel & Casino”. This place is a trap, and the way it traps you is by making you lose track of time.  You are eating something that alters your state of mind.  They have all the fun & games and food you would ever need, and by the time you realize you’ve been there a long time, it’s too late to save the world.  Geeze, that almost sounds like Vegas.  Heck, it also sounds like my life in a lot of ways.  Distracted, and time flew by with nothing accomplished but a bunch of fun and games… I look up one day, and I’m 40.   

Anyway, I bring that movie scene up because that is how I felt up until 3 weeks ago when I started writing this book.  I kept trying, but nothing.  I kept stressing, still nothing.  All it took was getting on the Facebook and hitting go live. All it took was me getting on the computer and typing out what I’ve learned.  It’s not like it was physically or mentally hard.  I knew the stuff, or so I thought.  Why nothing?  Again, a wise child of God will always ask why, even if you don’t get the answer right away, or the answer you were expecting.

The same thing was still happening on the job front.  Although I was more optimistic and grateful about the jobs God gave me, I never had one that lasted.  Many of the jobs during Bible school were part-time and temporary jobs.  If someone was paying attention, they would notice that all the same things were still happening in my life, even after I started reading the Bible and changing my life.  I was broke, and I went through more jobs in those 13 years than any similar timespan in my life.  I was always “trying” to write, do Bible studies, get a job, or just do something.  Nope…nothing done.  There is a misconception out there that once you start reading the Bible, or once you are saved, everything in life is smooth.  The Bible teaches the exact opposite.   

      

So what was the difference between pre-Bible and post-Bible time for me?  I had nowhere near the stress or fear after I started reading the Bible.  There wasn’t even close to the same amount of anxiety.  This time, I just let God drive. It isn’t easy giving up control, but God gave me no other option.  I wanted in…all in, and you can’t do that and still try to drive.    

To the world this is crazy behavior.  But remember, I had already spent half my life doing the same thing, but I relied on me instead of God.  Look how that worked out.  This go-round, I put my trust in God, and He delivered time after time after time. There is nothing like the experience of seeing God come through in ways you never could have predicted.  Nothing beats having to rely on God for everything.   

The majority of you guys were still pretty young, so Bible study wasn’t the option God gave me to reach you.  God wanted this book to serve that purpose. The first thing God gave me to help my research for the book, was lots of  time to spend with you.  I can’t even begin to count all of your visits, your soccer, your basketball, volleyball, plays, graduations, school music events, spring fall and summer breaks, babysitting, and of course every holiday and family vacation.  I keep telling you this, not to brag, but so you see God was at work.  What kind of uncle wants to spend that much time with a bunch of punk kids?  Apparently, I do. 

If God was going to have me write this book for you guys, I had to have some personal investment in you.  I needed to know you all very well, and that can only come with time and interaction.  I had to be visible and active in your lives for you to get the most out of what I am writing to you.  I had to be available to be a baby sitter on short notice.  I had to be around when spring break came and your parent’s had to work.  I had to be able to take time off or be unemployed to attend all the vacations we went on together.  I always had to have July 4^th off so I could see my nieces.  All of the time God gave me to spend with you guys is not normal.  It’s not normal to have an uncle who has been “in-between jobs” most of your lives. 

Before I ever thought about writing this book for you, I was spending a lot of time with you guys.  Once I realized God has a plan to use me to help you understand Him and the Bible, I took things to another level.  I started “Operation Undercover Uncle.”  You didn’t realize it, but I was like the family spy over the last 10 years or so.  I watched you keenly as you grew up into the fine young men and women you are today.  I listened to see how you responded when issues the Bible talks about were discussed.  I wrote down the questions I heard you guys struggle to answer about God.  I paid attention to see if you went to church and what kind of church it was. I was laser focused on getting to know you and what you knew about God.    

I made sure I attended every event of yours I could go to.  Haley was the oldest when Jesus took my wheel and made a U-turn.  I didn’t get to spend as much time with her or Nikk as the rest of you, because they were both older and didn’t need babysitting when I started my undercover work.  One of the reasons I include so many pictures of you guys in the book, is so that you don’t forget that I’m not just some chump off the street, I am your uncle Bill, and we spent a lot of great time together.  The pictures prove I was there for all those events, in case you forget when you get older.  All of it is a testament to God at work in all of our lives.   

My undercover work didn’t go so well at times.  I almost blew my cover on many occasions, and worse yet, I almost blew my opportunity to get some of you to listen to me about God.  I told you the Bible should have a warning label on it…  Zeal is a word you hear in the Bible a lot.  It’s the Bible word for passionate or enthusiastic.  Uncle Bill had zeal for the Lord, for example.  Well, uncle Bill had lots of zeal for the Bible and making sure everyone knew what was in it.  I just failed miserably on most of the opportunities I had to actually teach others about it.  You don’t need a Bible study for teachable moments, they happen all the time around us.  It’s the in person, out of the blue, spur of the moment, teachable times I struck out at the most. 

Poor Haley.  Since she was the oldest, she got to experience Uncle Bill’s “I’m gonna let everyone know they are wrong” side effect.  She had friends over to the in-laws and I acted holier than though when they came back talking about the rocks and crystals in Sedona.  The buildup started earlier when my mother-in-law was showing me some of the rocks they got up there.  I kept hearing things like this one is for healing, this one for protection, and there was one for spiritual something or another.  I literally was just studying about the Israelites and their fake gods they started to worship, and how God kicked them out of the land over it.  Many worshipped trees, and other parts of nature too. 

I couldn’t hold back anymore and just went off about how ridiculous all this spiritual rock and crystal stuff was.  I should have just sat there and soaked it in so I could write about it later, but nope.  I went nuts, and then ended up leaving before I lost it any more.  I didn’t understand how they could think a rock could help them.  I got home, and later got a text from Haley.  She was mad at me for acting like a punk in front of her friends.  (my words, not hers)  I typed out a reply right away saying “ thank you for letting me know, love you”.  That is what I should have sent, but nooooo… I cleared it out and started ranting about worshipping rocks and how crazy that is.  Nobody was worshipping rocks, uncle Bill overreacted.  We went back and forth for a few more texts, before I let it go.  Dumb.  I felt bad every day for almost a year.  I wanted to reach out every day, but I didn’t want to blow it.   

How could I let my favorite niece (whoops lol) be mad at me for that long?  All I know is that I wanted to reach out, but I never did.  Maybe there was a reason for that?  Finally, not long before our annual trip to Hawley lake on the 4^th of July, Haley texted me telling me that she loves me and doesn’t want to fight or for it to be weird up camping.  I was in San Diego on vacation with most of you when I got that text.  I doubt you noticed, but I had a lot more pep in my step after that.  What a relief that was! 

Now, I ask you again, does any of this sound like normal behavior to you?  First, why did every ounce of my body ache listening to the descriptions of what the rocks and crystals supposedly do?  Was it because it was so fresh in my mind from my studying of the Bible?  Why couldn’t I stop myself from clearing out my original text reply and instead babbling on about how I was right?  Would most uncles worry about it day after day, or would the worries of their own lives take priority?   I learned a lot from this experience, and that is exactly what God wanted from it.   

The next people on my holier than thou tour were my sisters and parents.  I had been on a few vacations with the AZ nieces and nephews, and I learned from my undercover work that you didn’t know a whole lot about the Bible.  I decided I would go to your church for Christmas one year.  That didn’t go well.  I didn’t flip out and leave the church in the middle of the service, but I wanted to.  They had some missionary “healer” lady who spoke about her escapades in some other country.  It was Christmas, and I was listening to someone tell me these wild stories about healing miracles?  I believe God heals people all the time, but being healed of what ails us in this physical body that is dying, is not near as important as healing our soul that will live forever. 

I went home and started watching videos of past sermons on your church’s website.  No lie, I spent several days watching videos of sermons non-stop.  I took a half of a notebook full of notes as I watched.  I paused it to make sure I heard something right, and I paused it when I needed a break after what I just heard.  So, after 3 days listening to more sermons from your pastor than any of you have, I decided texting the whole family about my frustrations would be a good idea.  Again, I had to let everyone know that I thought their church was horrible at preaching from the Bible.  I had to tell them I didn’t think you guys were going to learn anything there. 

I rarely heard the pastor mention how someone is saved in all the videos I watched, and the little Bible preached was all from the same 4-5 books of the Bible.  Almost all the sermons were filled with stories of the preacher’s time in some other country helping out those in need with shoes. There was always another book that was promoted besides the Bible. Either some Christian author, humanitarian, or the preacher’s own book. It was all milk, there was no meat, no bread to anything I heard.  Anyway, that went about as well as you would have expected.  My sister was pretty upset about it.  I put her and all the family on the defense, why wouldn’t she come out swinging?   I remember thinking I thought the whole world was against me.  First the incident with Haley and the mother-in-law, now this?!!   What in the heck is going on?   Why do I care that much?  Why did I have to watch hours and hours of sermons just to prove a point?  Why did I have to send that text?  Yet another experience I learned a lot from. 

The next blow-up came at my dad’s expense, and it ended up being about your church again.  Dad was trying to be the peacemaker so he asked me out for a walk.  We didn’t talk much about the church until we got back by the cars.  I told him the main mission of the church is to teach the congregation and to help unbelievers know how to be saved.  Everything a church does should be centered around training and shepherding your congregation.  We didn’t see eye to eye on this one, and out of frustration, I threw my water bottle on the ground and took off.  He didn’t want to listen, he just said I was wrong. 

I went home and skimmed through the whole Bible looking for the verses that supported my view of the church.  I worked on it non-stop from the time I left the park until a few days later when I sent it to him.   The word doc I sent him was 13 pages long!  It is filled with Bible verses talking about the role of the Church.  Who does that?  A crazy uncle who is trying, and failing, to look out for you guys. Did we go through the doc verse by verse to see what was right? Not yet. (LMK if anyone wants to read the word doc & I’ll send it)

There are many more stories I may get into later, but I feel bad enough for now.  I could have, and should have, handled all these situations better.  One of the reasons I wanted to tell you about this is because I want you to see how unusual all of this is.  The way I handled things was pretty crazy.  I wish I could explain the side-effects I had.  I wasn’t thinking I was better than anyone, I was frustrated that no one would believe me about what is in the Bible.  It’s like I was speaking a foreign language. 

I got like this when I was trying to look out for you and what you were being taught. I had control over what Zach learned first, but I have no control over what you guys did.  I didn’t care if it was coming from your church, your teachers, or your parents, I wanted to make sure you got the truth from the source…the Bible.  It’s not about who is right or who is wrong, it is about taking the time to do your homework and figure it out for yourselves.  God is not a God of confusion; He wants us to understand Him and His plan.  It’s not rocket-science, yet so many treat it like it is.  You guys mean everything to me. Making sure you have the chance to know the truth is all I care about. I’m selfish, I want to spend eternity with every one of you! I am trying to leave as little doubt as I can that I did my part to share the truth and keep you away from false teaching.

Another side effect I got from ingesting the Bible every day was guilt.  The more you learn about what God has done for us, the more you want to please Him.  The Bible tells us the best way to please Him is to obey Him.  You just read about how I did anything but obey God most of my adult life and look where that got me.  I started to feel guilty about a lot.  I started writing posts on Facebook telling Zach I’m sorry for letting this world get into such a mess.  I told him that it was me and my generation’s fault we are in the state we are in as a country right now.  I wrote apology posts to my grandma, my parents, my wife, and all the people I treated badly in my life.   I’ve included a few for you below.

There are side-effects for almost anything you do.  Some are good side-effects, some not so much.  Although your Uncle Bill didn’t handle the learning lessons God sent his way very well, I am much better prepared to handle it going forward.  God also made sure I got to learn these lessons with my family who can’t disown me.  lol

The “I’m Sorry Phase Posts”    

Hi Grandma Landis. 

I never told you how much I love you. I don’t think I even said the words very often. I was too busy thinking about you nagging me. I didn’t realize until later that you had every reason and every right to give me grief. 

Maybe you will think what I used to do to you is funny now. Hopefully you can see the changes I am trying to make in my life. I know someday I will get my payback; it might be from my own grandchildren when I get older. 

I’m sorry for taking out the tobacco from your cigarettes and replacing them with random household spices and mustard to hold it all in. I still think you never knew, you never said anything about it. 

I feel bad about cranking up the music on the intercom system when you had just fallen asleep. I won’t soon forget you coming out of your room screaming “you damn kids, turn that radio down!” I think I blamed it on Ken or Christian, I can’t remember now.

I feel horrible about loosening the bolts on your extendo-toilet seat. I am thankful you never fell off of it. 

How about the time my parents were out of town and you were charged with watching all us rascals. You kept asking me what was going on as girls kept coming in to use the restroom. “I just have a couple friends over” I told you. “We are just swimming out back”. Well, your suspicions were correct, I was having a party. There were about 20 people out back, but I only let the girls come in to pee. Yes mom, I am finally admitting that it was my bag of empty beer bottles out in the middle of the alley behind our house. And yes, those were my beer bottle caps you randomly found around the house over the months that followed. We would flick them with our fingers to see who could make them fly the farthest; we just couldn’t find all of them. 

Grandma, I still can’t believe we would call you from Aunt Joyce’s house (before caller id) saying in our best Colonel Clink voice: “this is the Gestapo; you are to report to headquarters immediately or will be shot. Do you understand me Lillian?” Yes, that was me, even though I didn’t admit it when you asked me: “Billy did you crank call me? Someone said something about shooting someone”. 

One of the worst I remember was when Ken just moved out here to AZ to stay with us until Aunt Joyce moved here. We devised a plan to really get you going. We sat on the couch while you sat in that chair of yours. It started when I put on my shoes and you asked me where I was going. I told you I was going to hang out with my friend. You wanted to know if I was taking Ken with me. I said “no, I don’t like him. I don’t want him to go”. You were so mad that you started that thing where you say all your grand-kids names before you finally got to the right one: “Wendy, Kristi, Tommy….Billy.” You couldn’t believe I just said that with Ken sitting there acting all lonely and depressed. “He’s no fun grandma” I said. Inside Ken and I were busting up laughing; you just about had a heart attack. Sorry grandma!

When I look back and think about all the rotten things I did to you, it’s partly because we spent a lot of time together. I understand now how lucky I was to have you around. Ken and I both cherished the times we came to visit you in the nursing home those last years of your life. We had some great conversations and I remember feeling like I could just be myself around you. It made my day. 

The day you died I showed up at the nursing home before you took your last breath and went to heaven. I remember everyone was there huddled around you. You hadn’t said much all day and you weren’t in the best spirits. When I walked in the room, you perked up, smiled and said “hi Billy”. After all I did to make your life a challenge you didn’t hold it against me. 

As Ken and I drove behind the hearse in your funeral procession, I couldn’t help but feel you were there with us. It was an incredibly beautiful overcast day and Ken and I cruised with the top down in my old Toyota. We still talk about that drive all the time, it was almost magical. 

I love you and miss you. I promise things will be different with me next time I see you. 

Your grandson,

Billy

Tillie and Abe.

I want to thank you for having such a big impact in my life. Not many people would have accepted all us crazy friends of Gabby and Tommy. You guys opened your house up to us at all hours of the day and night. You fed us, gave us a place to crash, and offered lots of great advice when we needed it. You treated me like one of your own kids. 

I learned a lot about what grace looks like from you. Yes, you got mad at “pinche Bruno” many times, but you never held it against me for very long. Usually by the next morning you were saying “mijo, come get some breakfast”, again taking care of me. I was also amazed at how hard you and Abe worked. Especially impressive after we woke you up at 3am the night before. 

I’m sorry it has been so many years since I’ve seen you and Abe. I should have come over to introduce you to my son, he is 11 now. I think part of me wanted to wait until I was successful or finally finished my book. I wanted you guys to be proud of me, and I didn’t feel very good about myself so I shut everyone out. 

You and Abe mean more to me than you will ever know. I have many great memories of the time I spent with you. Todos ustedes son mi familia!

Thanks for putting up with my sarcasm and smart-ass mouth. Thanks for always being such great examples for me to follow. Your marriage was always what I wanted mine to be like when that day came. You showed me a lot about how important family is. I’ll never forget it. 

I know it has been a long time, but I promise to try and make up for it. I told Gabby it would be great if we could all get together sometime over the holidays. 

If you guys ever need ANYTHING, I will be there for you like you were always there for me. 

I love you guys,

Guillermo

Mom, I am sorry for all the stupid things I did. I am sorry for not realizing sooner how big of a role model you were. I’m sorry for lying to get my way. 

I’ll never forget coming home late one night to see all my clothes you told me to pick up off the floor in my room now laying on the bushes and ground outside my window. I won’t forget coming home from a night out partying with my friends and finding my bed in the garage because I didn’t make it before I left like you told me to. 

I’m sorry for being so stubborn and actually sleeping on the bed in that hot garage that summer night just to prove I didn’t really care about it, or that it didn’t really bug me. I wouldn’t let you win. I’m sorry for always scheming my way into you giving me money or using some “spin” to get out of doing chores. 

I should have realized this sooner, but you are the most generous, loving, and gracious person I know. I am so happy I am finally starting to take after you. So many things I learned from you and dad I am trying to pass on to Zach. 

I deserved every punishment you and dad gave me, and probably much more. I thank you for dragging me to church every Sunday and Wednesday night. I appreciate the example you both set for me. 

I would not be who I am today without your love and praise. 

I love you!

Your son.

I just turned 18 a few days earlier when I decided to go get my first lottery ticket. Maybe this was the way I was going to get rich. I felt it! God was going to take care of me! I sat at home watching tv with my dad that night and anxiously waited to see my winning numbers get drawn. I can’t say dad was really watching, as usual he was half asleep. Then came the moment I was waiting for my whole life. The drawing was almost here, I was soon to have it all! Suddenly my dad woke up and said “son, you need to take out the trash, they are coming to pick it up tomorrow”. Knowing me, this was probably the 10th time he had to remind me. 

I pulled out the lottery ticket from my back pocket and held it up to show him. In the cockiest way I knew how I said “see this dad, I’m going to win. In the morning, I am going to pay you to take out the trash”. 

How many of you would have got away with that one? 

Sorry Dad! Thanks for your patience with me. I hope you are starting to see that the lessons you taught me didn’t just fall on deaf ears, but actually did sink in. 

I love you,

Your son. 

Son, first, you need to know what we are up against. You need to know what got us into this mess. I am to blame for much of what you are seeing wrong. If it isn’t’ apparent to you yet, there sure is a lot of “bad news” these days. It is no wonder I lost sight of what is important during times like these. Prayer and faith are the only things that can get us through. It took way too long for me to realize that. 

I’m sorry I had to sit in my car for 15 minutes once I got home from work to cool off and let go of my anger and frustration. I’m sorry you had to witness me arguing with my family over things I had no control of. I’m sorry you had to hear me call our political leaders names and talk down about the great people of this country. Maybe you can reverse the curve.

Lord, thanks for this awesome responsibility! Thank you for the lessons you are teaching me every day. Thank you for helping me understand that I have to prepare harder for those who “think” they know your Word than I have to for those who have never read it.

I’m sorry I got frustrated tonight. I’m sorry I started to feel sorry for myself about how difficult this road you have me traveling down is and will be. I can read story after story in the Bible to see that these feelings are typical of all who know the Truth and try to help others realize it. I know I am not alone and you are always with me.

I’m trying Lord. Please continue to be patient with me. Please continue to use me as you will. Thank you for knowing I could handle it with your help. Thank you for equipping me with the tools to do the job. Thank you for creating me for this purpose.

Please help me worry more about what pleases you than what pleases others.

I love you!

Your son.