God is real! This book is a testament to that fact. Uncle Bill’s book doesn’t have all the answers to life that God’s Book does, but make no mistake, God wrote this one too. He not only wrote it; He orchestrated my life so that I would have every experience and piece of knowledge I needed for it to say exactly what He wanted. He also made sure I didn’t finish it until now.
I’ll never forget the day the journey to writing this book started. I was just a young punk kid when God put the desire in my heart to write. I was laying in my bed day-dreaming as usual, when I felt like I just knew what I was supposed to do with my life. I felt like I figured out the reason I was here. I felt like I found my purpose. I felt like I was going to make a difference in this world.
In my mind, at that time, I had no doubt it would happen and happen quickly. I bet EVERYTHING on it.
What God didn’t tell me that day was how it would all go down. He didn’t tell me I’d have to wait this long for it to happen. He didn’t tell me what I would end up writing about. He didn’t give me a “heads up” about all the challenges and trials I would have to go through first. He didn’t tell me about all the sleepless nights, the stress from failure, the countless jobs, or the worries about money. He didn’t tell me I’d have to wait until you all were born.
I can tell you that this is how God usually works. He doesn’t reveal the whole plan right away because He wants you to rely on Him for updates and guidance on your progress….something I didn’t do much of. I didn’t know any of this at the time, but there is no doubt it is true looking back now. Every little piece of my life had to align perfectly for this book to be written. Where I was born, the parents I had, the schools I went to, the people I’ve met, the jobs I lost, the trials I went through, and the joys I experienced were all directed by God.
It’s mind-blowing when I sit back and really think about some of the details. First, I had to be born. That took making sure your grandma and grandpa actually met and got married. (not to mention their parents and their parents and so on over all the centuries…) In fact, you can see God’s divine intervention in the fact that my mom, your mom, and your aunt all said “yes” to men not in their league. 😂
Then, God made sure you guys were all born and that you actually liked hanging out with your Uncle Bill. He gave me plenty of free time to spend with you too. It’s not an over-exaggeration to say God gave me more time with my nieces and nephews than 99% of the uncles on earth. I also find it fascinating that God waited until I was engulfed in the Bible and changing my own life before He allowed me to have a bigger influence in yours.
God lit a fire in me to learn more about Him. He led me to do a Bible study for Zach, and now this book for you.
Nothing was by chance; nothing was a mistake. It all had to happen. You’ll see, just keep reading.
Let’s start off with some of the things God was doing early on to prepare me for this. It’s not a fluke that both my parents believed in the “One True God”. It’s not by chance that they dragged me to church every Sunday, Wednesday, youth event day, and potluck night. Do you think it’s a coincidence that I ended up in churches that preached the Bible? Was it just dumb-luck that the same church gave my dad a job and a place for his young family to live right next door?
Why did my parents make sure I spent more time in church than my siblings? Why didn’t any of my friends have this kind of church schedule? Why was I the only kid sent off to private Christian schools? Why did so much of what I learned stick in my head, when not much else did?
I should have been asking more questions back then. God gave me signs all over the place, but I didn’t see them for what they were. I saw them as inconveniences, roadblocks and unfair treatment. God wanted me to ask Him what was going on. Instead, I tried to figure it all out on my own. I doubt God would have made everything clear to me right away had I asked, but a lot of stupid stress could have been avoided. Don’t take as long as I did to learn that. Always ask, and keep your eyes and ears open for answers.
One of things God made stick from that little church in Phoenix was His creation story. I was sitting in Sunday School watching a video about God creating the heavens and the earth. It had awesome special effects; and I can still visualize it in my head today. I was filled with awe and wonder! I knew it was true, and I didn’t question it. That simple belief helped me answer so many questions and doubts I would later get in my head about who God is and what He can do. It helped me avoid all the false theories about how everything came to be as it is today.
Could I have defended my belief to someone else? Probably not very well, but that didn’t matter to me at the time. This is called child-like faith. I’m praying that at a minimum you all have this type of faith. Child-like faith means you believe God is real even when you don’t have all of the answers as to why you believe it. All new believers start this way. If God were to allow you to ingest everything about Him all at once your brain would explode. You wouldn’t retain it all. Instead, we all start like a baby does; needing milk before we hit the solid food, which is in God’s Word.
Now think about what would happen if all you did was live off milk and you never started eating bread or meat as you aged. You wouldn’t be very healthy, would you? You wouldn’t be very strong or mentally sharp either. In fact, you would be pretty useless. This analogy is the example the Bible gives for those who never take their faith to the next level. They stay in that milk only stage through life. They end up being weak Christians living in fear because of what they don’t know. They become almost useless to God.
The moment my life really started to change was when I got off the milk and dug into the meat. (The Bible) What kept me on milk so long? In short, distractions. (more on that later)
For now, let’s get you some milk and a little bread for the creation story. 🥛🍞
I really like how the first chapter of my book aligns with the first chapter in God’s Book. I’m sure that was by design. This foundational belief, that God created everything in an instant, over a literal 6-day week, tells you all you need to know. It tells you how you got here, and that your life has purpose, because an almighty God created you. He didn’t have to create us, so the fact that He did tells us something. This is why Genesis is the most attacked book in the Bible from the unbelieving world. If they can diminish, discredit, or destroy Genesis, they know you will be ripe to believe anything they say. That is what the darkness really wants.
If someone can convince you that the very first book of the Bible is wrong, then they can convince you the rest of it is wrong too. If they can convince you that the book is all just a bunch of children’s stories and fables, then they can convince you evolution is real and that you have no worth. If they can convince you that God didn’t create us, then you won’t have to feel obligated to live up to His standards. If there is no creator God, there is no higher authority mankind is accountable to. If there’s no problem, there’s no need for a solution. Get it now?
It’s so much deeper than a simple disagreement on what a book says. It’s a spiritual darkness that has to try and make sure you don’t see the light of truth. In Genesis 1:3 we learn that there was light before there was the sun. The light was day 1, but the sun didn’t exist until day 4. Why? Because God is light. The brightest, most radiant light in the world. This light, is how God is described in the Old Testament when Israel had a temple that God resided in. This is the light the darkness doesn’t want you to see.
Everything that goes against the light is darkness. A tiny little flame can extinguish the dark, but the darkness can never extinguish the light. This is not some fancy philosophical statement, this is truth.
This is why the book of Genesis and the creation story are so dangerous to those living in the dark. The light exposes their lies and circular reasoning. This is also why God put Genesis as the first book. It is the foundational piece to the Bible. Get Genesis right, and the rest of the Bible makes a lot more sense. Get it wrong, and you’ll have to jump through hoops trying to explain the rest of it.
Genesis is the most important historical book ever written. It tells us about the foundation of all things. In Genesis we learn about matter, energy, life, marriage, family, society, morality, Law, even the 7-day week.
It is also a book of firsts: The first human beings, the first marriage, birth, death, lie, trial, murder, first self-defense, ownership of property, natural death, rainfall, boat, nations formed, cities built, calendar established, first example of God’s grace, and on and on. Genesis has everything we need to know about the person of God and man’s relationship to Him.
Are you starting to see why the world wants to make sure you don’t believe the book of Genesis is truth? Look past the people pushing the evolution nonsense. It’s a spiritual issue. Normal people would not care so much about what we Christians believe is truth. Why would anyone care what we believe? Our beliefs don’t impede their lives in any way. We aren’t killing people who disagree, or shaming those who don’t believe as we do. Bible believing folk are supposed to be humble and meek, the Bible doesn’t teach hate or violence.
The only logical answer you can come up with as to why normal people hate the truth, and those that spread it, is Satan. We will get into his antics later, but I need to make sure one thing is perfectly clear now. Before Satan came into the picture in Genesis chapter 3; the world God created, and the people He created, were perfect.
Adam and Eve didn’t have to plow the ground or pull weeds from the garden. Everything they needed to eat was always readily available without having to work for it. The animals all got along, they were tame, and you could have a bear as a pet if you wanted to. A mist from the ground watered all the vegetation automatically. There was an additional layer of water above the atmosphere of our planet, that somehow made this place like a greenhouse too. It was heaven on earth.
Even better; there was no fear, no stress, no pain, no hate, no lies, no sorrow and definitely no death before evil came around. The place was perfect. Adam and Eve’s bodies were perfect and built to never die or wear out. But, that’s not the best part. The best part, was that Adam and Eve could walk and talk with God. They weren’t separated from Him like we are today.
All it takes is a second to look around, and you can easily tell that the world is far from a perfect place now. Almost everything is the opposite of the way God created it.
Something had to have happened between what we read about in Genesis chapters 1 & 2, and our current day. Something that made this place a living hell on earth at times. I keep asking you guys to pay attention to why unbelievers hate and try to discredit Genesis so much. Here is your first major reason: They are on the same team as the guy the Bible says made this mess. Their boss let our home go to hell and fall into disarray. Their false teachers have more students than the Bible teacher does. There are far more unbelievers in the world than there are believers. What happened?
Don’t give up hope! Keep reading. The God who created it all, knew evil was coming, and He already has a plan to fix it all.
One might think after all the time I spent in church and in private school, I would have been this perfect little angel as a kid. Uh, nope, not even close.
I was just 12 years old when I started dreaming about moving out. Getting out from under the thumb of oppression that was my parents, motivated me, and got me through those dark years. Lol When your grandpa used to wake me up at noon to go mow the yard on a Saturday, I would think about that moment of freedom when I turn 18, and I’d get through it. I was going to be rich; I didn’t need them. My dad was a tightwad, and scared to take risks….not me! I’ll show him.
You have to try and picture this: For 8 years of my life, I was like a guy in a cannon waiting to be shot out. I was stuck in that cannon, and if somehow, I could light the fuse of adulthood, I would blast off into everything I ever wanted. Every argument I had with Bil & Pat, (I called them by their real names a lot ) would end with me reminding them that my move out day was just XX days and 12 hours away. I remember telling them that they would regret the way they treated me, especially when I become rich and famous.
Writing this now, looking back, it all seems pretty stupid. I don’t remember my parents giving me any real reasons to want to escape. Well, maybe a couple…. There was that one-time mom put my bed in the garage after I left to go out with my friends for the night. When I came home at some ridiculous hour, boy was I surprised! It was the peak of summer in AZ, but I wasn’t going to let her win, so I slept in the garage. I can’t imagine what that place smelled like the next day.
There was also the time mom threw all my clothes out the bedroom window, and the times she would try to yell instructions to me while I was mowing the yard. Your grandma was a little psycho back then, mostly for good reason. I was a pain in the butt! My dad always wanted me to do stuff, and do it for free. We had some epic battles on chore days. I’m not sure what my parents thought back then. I was a nightmare teenager. I think maybe they just finally threw up their arms and said: “oh well, let’s focus on the other two kids.” Lol
When I go through my old writing, I get to see what my state of mind I was in back in the day. 50% of what I wrote before 18 was about my parents and how strict they were. The other half was about all the cool things I was going to do when I wrote my book. The stuff I wrote after high school….now that is a different story.
Let’s flash forward to high school. I’ve had about 8 years of dreaming about writing, and a few thousand words hastily scribbled on notebook paper to show for it. So, I took matters into my own hands and decided I needed to live a life worthy of writing about. It sounds pretty good, until I tell you I thought partying and doing stupid funny crazy stuff, was what I needed to make my writing come alive. I started thinking maybe I’ll write a movie instead. I took a few film and screenwriting classes, and I even got an awesome video camera from my parents for Christmas. Although I had a very good imagination that I used often, I could never come up with anything that seemed better to write about than my own life.
I’ve included some pics of things I was working on, or thinking about between ages 17-30. I call this my BS time. “Before Steph”. As I told you before, there was a lot of stress when I was in my twenties. Everything I wrote about was a future scene in my movie or chapter in my book. At least that is what I thought at the time, not knowing God had a different plan. I walked around like my eyes were a video camera, filming the next adventure. There were plenty of adventures, but most of them never made it down on paper. I’d come home, write down some bullet points so that I wouldn’t forget, then never come back to finish it.
If I were to summarize everything that happened during that period it would be this: Even though I was a rebel child, God still protected me through it all. He surrounded me with the best friends in the world, and a 2nd family who all looked out for me. I don’t want to glorify this time in my life, but it did help shape me into the man I am today. I just wish I had 1/10th of the money I wasted back.
Uncle Bill was a great example to follow when you are looking for what “not” to do. I have been to more parties than I can count, and I have a lot of them written down in my pile of old writing. Nothing substantial ever came out of any of it, except a bunch of hangovers. That is how my twenties felt from a success standpoint too. Ugh, what a waste… I tried so hard to fight against the current and get something accomplished, but God wanted me to turn around a go with the flow.
I was 20 when I wrote the letter predicting my future would be full of wealth from sold writing and fame. I was going to be rich in 10 years, and I wouldn’t need the parents anymore. Well, that aged well!
Flash forward 7 years after I sent the letter. I was driving my mom’s mini-van, while working part-time at the Arizona Republic newspaper. Not in a writing job as you might think, but taking classified ads over the phone. I had moved in and out of the parent’s house several times, and if it wasn’t for your Aunt Steph, I would probably still live there. Life sucked! I felt depressed, I felt hopeless, I felt like a failure.
In the decade following that letter, a lot went wrong. I spent several hours in the pokey, and narrowly escaped serving a lot more. I had a car repossessed because I needed the money for beer, and I got kicked out of a couple apartments for partying too much. I had 15 jobs, and I spent very little time working at any of them. I had to sell some of my favorite things to pay off debt, rent, or for buying alcohol. The 69 mustang and the jeep were the hardest to let go. I lived paycheck to paycheck, and always above my means.
As far as the being famous prediction went, the closest I got was being in a few local insurance commercials. I always played the part of the loser without any money, a part I was perfect for. They only picked me because I worked there, and they wanted free talent. I must have been a decent actor, because people used to recognize me and shout my name. Too bad it was just at the mall, and the only people that saw my commercials were the people who were home all day instead of working. There was the one girl who wanted to dance with me because she thought it was cool I was on tv. I might have married her, had your aunt not come into the picture and snatched me away when she saw us dancing. You aunt was the jealous type. lol
The stress was rough. Not only did I have all these financial worries, but major doubt was creeping in. I had a few jobs that helped take away the hole I had not filled yet, but they were always just temporary. I had a mid-life crisis breakdown at 27. I was only 3 years away from the cutoff I told my parents about in the letter. I was nowhere close to having anything written.
Look at the poem I wrote. (Life Lessons) I can’t tell you how much anxiety, fear, stress and tears were behind it. But, if you notice, there is also hope! I wrote this after praying. Although I didn’t have much of a relationship with God during this time period, I always went to Him when I felt everything was unbearable. I went to Him when I was desperate. He always calmed me down and brought me hope.
I was failing, and I had very little time to get it done. The partying helped me forget that I was a loser too. I talked so much crap over the years; on purpose. I figured if I talked a ton of smack about being successful, surely that would help my pride kick in, and I would “get er done”. Again, I was wrong. 15 years after I had vowed to become a writer, I felt further away than ever.
God kept the spark there though, and occasionally, especially during very high stress times in my life, He allowed me to write some of the best stuff I ever put down on paper. I never let anyone see how disappointed I was in my life. I kept up the charade. I drove fancy cars, I dressed like a 50-year-old poser rich guy, and I still bragged about the writing, but only when I was drinking.
I was really scared. I didn’t know what life would be like living with the disappointment I set myself up for. I didn’t know if I could handle that type of pain, so I couldn’t let the dream die, or I’d risk dying inside.
So, here we have an example of 2 things: 1. I wanted to write with every ounce of my being for more than 40 years, but never got anything completed. 2. I wanted to be a good Christian, but I wasn’t anywhere close to good. I was very thankful for all the times God helped me out of a mess, but it didn’t lead to me to obey Him more. After God saved me that one time in the desert, I told Him that I’d never drink again. The next day I was right back to the hair of the dog that bit me.
It was one of the most frustrating periods in my life, and it lasted a long time. Everything I wanted to do, I didn’t. Everything I didn’t want to see happen, did. UGH!
Then, God sent me a life preserver; your aunt. God sent her in to help clean up all the messes, and make me smile at her dresses. Lol The friends and family God provided for me during my party days, were being replaced with my own family. I got married when I was 30, and we had Zach at 32. I needed motivation and my hopes lifted up, and that is just what marrying the love of my life did! I was down in the dumps about my writing, but now I had a wife and a son to think about. I would do it for them! The timing must have been all wrong before.
Nope! Wrong again. God was just planting seeds at this time. He knew what would happen over the next decade, I didn’t.
How can you believe something will happen with your whole heart, but never see it come to fruition? How can you know how you should act, but still don’t? Why did I have to go through all this stress and anxiety?
I have the answers now, but I’ll tell you later. Keep reading.
The more this book comes together, the more I see what a moron I was. I wasted so much time. I wasted so much of my life wandering in the wilderness those 40 years. I spent every hour of every day, worrying about my future. I was always trying to picture what my life would be like in 5 or 10 years, but the lens I used was the wrong one. I looked at my life through the lens of the world, when I should have been looking at everything that was happening to me through the lens of the Bible. I should have been comparing my life to Jesus, instead of the rich CEOs I worked for.
I put an incredible amount of pressure on myself, and I partied like a rock start to try and forget it. I never lived in the moment; I was too worried about what was next. Most of it feels like a blur now.
I’ve been writing in a journal since I was 15. I have notebook after notebook filled with my thoughts, ideas, dreams, disappointments, and successes during that time. When I go back and look through it all, it’s pretty depressing. Every time I actually sat down to write, I questioned if I would ever get something done. If there is an overwhelming theme from the stuff I wrote while wandering in the wilderness, it is that I was miserable, and I was always waiting for my story/life to unfold. The most common sentences over thousands of journal entries were: “Why am I going through this?” and “am I ever going to write something?” I thought there was no way out from the expectations I set for myself. I thought the failure that hit me over the head all my life was here to stay.
Instead of going to God for relief, I went to motivational speakers, business leaders, published authors, and the countless books and tapes on earthly success. I have a ton of stressed-out writing in my notebooks, and very little that was positive. I’d write when I was totally wigging out about something, but I didn’t go back and write about how God helped me through it. I guess I was more miserable than I ever realized. Not once, was I ever able to confidently say I know what I am going to do with my life. Sure, I thought I knew a few different times, but God squashed those ideas really quick.
Stressing about my life achievements, and when they would happen, is the only thing I was consistent with in my whole life. It sucked. Job after job I quit, failed attempt to write after failed attempt, I lost hope. All this time, God was trying to teach some valuable lessons, but I was either too altered, or too distracted to notice. Every day for me was either a day to forget, or a day to think about what I haven’t done. It is the worst feeling in the world, and it just kept repeating itself for most of my life.
One of the main reasons I was stuck in that vicious circle is because I failed to recognize that God disciplines His children. God puts us through trials and tests our whole earthly lives. This is how we grow in maturity, and how we grow spiritually. Ask my parents how well it went when they tried to discipline me back in the day….
There is a movie I loved when I was a kid called “Back to the future”. There is a scene in it where the bully knocks on McFly’s head and says : “hello, Mcfly?” “Is there anyone home?” I think of God doing that to me for 40 years. Bill, how many times do we have to go through this? Bill, I thought you promised you wouldn’t do that again? Bill, why are you so upset, don’t you remember I always provide? Bill, why do you need that fancy car? Why did you quit your job before I told you to? Hello, McFly?!!!
I don’t think the main issue God had with me was my 30 jobs, it was the fact that I never gave Him credit for hooking me up with the new ones. Every time I got a new job, it was a better one, and I took all the credit. Uncle Bill has a big head, full of pride. I remember going to the in-laws not long after I found a new job. My father-in-law Tom said “I don’t know how you do it Bill, but you always find a better job, every time”. I just smiled, while thinking in my head how awesome I was, and that the in-laws recognize my talent. Lol It’s weird how this interaction stuck with me over all these years. I think about it a lot, because it was a great chance to give credit where credit was due. Instead, I let Tom’s comment fuel the pride in me even more. In actuality, he was probably thinking: “Bill has had more jobs in 5 years than I’ve had in my life.”
On the outside, I radiated self-confidence; but in reality, it was all but gone by 35. How could that have happened? I was a cocky, over-confident punk, who thought the world revolved around me. Someone had to put me in my place, and many tried. It wasn’t until God brought me down from my perch, that I finally learned what humility was. If there ever was a perfect parent, it is God. God got my pride in check really quick. Over the last 13 years, He has made sure I know who really provides for me and my family. Had I never learned this lesson, I would still be thinking every positive thing in my life was because of me. Because I am awesome. Because I am fire!
Thankfully, God never stopped trying to make me better. When earthly parents might give up because their kids are too out of control, or they are adults now, God won’t. He never grows tired of trying to get something important into my thick skull. This only benefits me, why wouldn’t I want to grow? In fact, spiritual growth (becoming more like Jesus) not only benefits us tremendously in this world, but even more so after Jesus comes back again. Keep reading, God has a lot to say about the time when Jesus comes back.
The Israelites who were rescued from slavery in Egypt, got plenty of learning lessons, plenty of discipline, and plenty of time wasted in the wilderness too. You can read all about it in the books of Exodus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy in the Bible. Did you know it took Israel 40 years to reach the land God promised after they left Egypt? Do you know they should have been able to get there in 2 weeks? So, what was the hold-up there? What was the hold-up that had Uncle Bill wandering in the wilderness for 40 years? In both cases, it was man being stubborn, and purposely ignoring God’s attempts to point out our wrongs.
Israel broke God’s laws given to Moses on the mountain. I broke God’s laws, and I broke man’s laws. Most of the people of Israel, who were old enough to know better when God rescued them from Egypt, never made it to the promised land. It was supposed to be a short trip, yet most of them died in the wilderness. In contrast, I already have my citizenship to the promised land. I’m just waiting for the place to open; they are expecting me. I decided to wander around for a while and hang out in the desert first. I chose to try and “live my best life now”, but it never worked. I was always thirsty, hungry, hot, and tired. I just kept wandering, going in circles over and over again. The way I felt, (thirsty, hot, etc.) is what the Bible tells us life after death for the unbeliever will feel like. More on all that later.
Remember one of the questions I posed earlier in the book? Why couldn’t Uncle Bill be good, when he knows God wanted him to be good? One answer is because Uncle Bill was stubborn, and I didn’t learn from my mistakes very quickly.
The other part of the answer lies in what we discussed about sin in chapter 3. We are born with sin; and it is part of our nature. It was passed down through Adam, to every person ever born on earth, minus the One. My sin nature is opposed to God, so it is always working to try and undermine God or my belief in God. I can’t blame Satan for everything I do wrong, but the sin and lies he brought into this world, sure make it hard to be good. In fact, this side of heaven, it is impossible to be as good as God wants us to be. Did you know that? We can’t change who we are, but thankfully God can.
Do you know that your parents didn’t teach you to be bad, but they had to teach you to be good? Which side of a child’s nature comes out first, and is instinctual…good or bad? Did anyone teach me to lie? Nope, I just preferred to lie over telling the truth most times. A lot of times it was because I was too embarrassed to admit that I was a failure. Other times it was to cover up another lie, or to get me out of work, or doing chores. This was another thing God had to work on with me over and over again. I wrote a FB post to Zach 10 years ago about excuses. This sums up how I lived with lies and excuses during my time in the wilderness. Check it out:
As I got older, I could lie and cover it up so well that I believed it in my own head. I had lies that no one would ever know about. There are still lies that I have yet to admit, stupid ones that I know would be fine if I owned up to them now.
Ok let’s give it a try: Dad, if you are reading this book, and you are at this point, I have to tell you something….
Remember the Ford Ranger you used to have? Remember the one time I came home with part of the front all crushed in? Remember when I told you that I was in the parking lot, and when I came out of the store the damage was there? Remember Uncle Tom seeing it and saying it looks like someone hit a pole? Well, that is what I did. I was trying to spin the wheels in the grass at a small church. The grass was wet and I lost control and hit their flag pole. Sorry about that pop! I feel better now, if that is any consolation. Lol The Church also learned to put a large concrete barrier around the pole after that. What a punk I was, and still am sometimes.
This was one of the main reasons that God had to keep teaching me the same lessons over and over. I wouldn’t get it. Thankfully He didn’t give up trying, because I do get it now. It wasn’t until after my 40 years in the wilderness, after all the trials and tests, that I finally stopped worrying about my future. It is the most freeing thing I have ever felt! Living each day as it comes, knowing God has a plan for me and this world, is all I need now.
It was 5 years ago, right around Christmas 2020. The nation was experiencing all the Covid hysteria, and I was winding down a consulting gig God gave me. It was then, before I knew what would come next, that I decided I didn’t care if I ever wrote another thing. I didn’t care about any of the dreams I had my whole life. I was just so happy knowing the Truth, and that God gave me so much time to read and study the Bible. Nothing else mattered to me after that. I finally knew my future, and it wasn’t here on earth that I cared about anymore. God gave that peace to me 5 years before I started writing this book. It’s almost like I had to give up the priority I put on my dream, and put it on God. Once I did that, it all started to happen. Now the dream, and the peace, are both real.
I can’t explain how great I feel right now, writing this. I have not had the stress over my failed life in a little over 10 years. The sick feeling I had in my gut all those years is gone. I didn’t think the day would ever come. I am not sure I could have been further down in the dumps, but now I am more alive and hopeful than any time in my life. This is what a miracle looks like! To come out of the wilderness virtually unscathed, can only be God’s doing.
It sure would have been nice if God could have come right out and told me what His plans were for me all those years ago. Like this: “Hey Bill, I know I told you about being a writer, but first you are going to have 30 jobs, lots of stress, and no money. I’ll give you some joy in there with a wonderful wife and kid, but you will have to wait until you are the same age as the speed limit to get it done. You aren’t going to write it for the money, and it’s going to be a book about Me and how I worked in your life. You are going to write it for your future nieces and nephews.”
Actually, now that I think about it, I wouldn’t have wanted to know all of that! I know it wouldn’t have helped me. Who wants to know they have to wait 40 years and go through all that crap? I would have probably done the same things, but with a mentality to prove God wrong. I would have said, “I can do it quicker. I don’t want to wait for some punk kids I don’t know to be born.” I couldn’t have even imagined my little sisters getting married, let alone having kids. No way I could have benefited by knowing it all up front. If I knew all the pain that was coming, I may have tried to shut myself up in the house my whole life.
As we’ve learned in Genesis 1 chapter 3, and from everything I have told you so far about my life, God doesn’t give the whole plan up front. He purposely revealed more and more through time, slowly unveiling His plan for us throughout the centuries. This is a key concept in the Bible, and is the way that God gave out His program for the past, present, and future. Now that the Bible is finished, God is done revealing His plan. Sure, He may give a person here on earth more insight into what God already promised would happen, but never anything that would contradict the Bible. There is a position in God’s workforce called Prophet. They speak for God, and He expects those who hear the prophet’s words to listen. What could go wrong there?
Today, there are many people out there calling themselves prophets. There are zero (0) who have 100% accuracy in their predictions. In fact, most have closer to 0% accuracy. The Bible tells us that any prophet of God will be known, because 100% of everything they predict will come true. 100%! God used prophets as mouthpieces. They spoke exactly what God told them to; nothing more, nothing less. So why did God use prophets? For one, as I mentioned earlier, this was the method that He used to reveal His plan over time. Different prophets, over different times in history, would all have pieces of God’s plan that would eventually come together into what we know today.
Get this… not one of the Old-Testament (OT) prophets had as much insight into God’s plan as we do today. All the prophets died, only knowing a piece of the puzzle that they were given. They put their faith in God’s plan, even though they didn’t know all the details we have now. The prophets heard directly from God, yet they knew little compared to what you can know by studying the Bible. That is pretty remarkable, and it makes me incredibly grateful I was born after the Bible was completed, and the whole plan was revealed! I’m also extremely blessed that God gave me the last 13 years to study it full-time. Now that the Bible is complete, God is finished bringing prophets to us for the purpose of revealing His plans. He has told us everything He intended to tell us in the Bible; there is no need for any more prophets or apostles.
Hebrews 1:1-2: ‘God, after He spoke long ago to the fathers in the prophets in many portions and in many ways, in these last days has spoken to us in His Son, whom He appointed heir of all things, through whom also He made the world. ‘
God also used prophets to write the Bible. They spoke Gods words, usually to Israel, and then put them on paper scrolls. There was no complete Bible back then, as the Savior wasn’t even here yet. It was also the norm, that the common person (non-priest) didn’t own any of God’s written word. The scrolls weren’t cheap, and the amount of time it took to copy it all over, word for word by hand, took forever.
Another way God used the Prophets like Moses, was as the middle-man between the people and God. In the wilderness, the people of Israel were so frightened by God’s voice, the earth shaking, and the ramifications of His Words, that they asked Moses to speak and talk to God on their behalf. This is what we would all feel like if God was that close to us in the sinful state we are in now. We would fall to the ground on our face with fear, because instinctively we would know we are standing in front of the judge of our sin. Our Father in heaven would not be reaching out for a hug in that moment.
From the time of Moses forward, God used prophets, and never spoke directly to the nation of Israel again. Even today, believers have a mediator between us and God the Father. Someone we have to go through for God the Father to hear our prayers. There are also middle-men/women between unbelievers and God. The Bible tells us that God only hears His children’s prayers, so those who are not His, need someone to help relay the info to God I’ll get into all this later, don’t worry.
Anyone who claims to hear from God, but contradicts what God has already said in the Bible, is wrong 100% of the time. They may be hearing from a spiritual being, but it isn’t God. Once the Savior came, and God’s plan was fully revealed, there was no need for any more people to tell us what God has in store. We have all we need to know about our future, and the future of mankind, right in the Bible. Anyone who wants to take away, or add to God’s Word, is doing so for worldly reasons like fame or wealth. Always look for the motives behind people who call themselves prophets. False prophets have been around since the serpent in the Garden of Eden. People of the world will always choose to listen to them, because their message blows sunshine up people’s butts.
True prophets sent from God, always speak the truth, no matter how hard it is for people to hear. If there was a real prophet walking amongst us today, His message would be the same as all the prophets in the Bible. No one would listen to him, and his following would be very small. He would get attacked, and probably killed, just like many did. People who don’t believe in the promises of God, don’t want to hear that a judge is coming. They don’t want to know that there are consequences for their actions and unbelief. God’s prophet’s always spoke the Truth, even when no one wanted to hear it.
To keep it simple for you: if you run into someone calling themselves a prophet, look to see if they are happy or miserable. Are they wearing an Armani suit with Air 1 Jordan sneakers, or do they look worn down, and humble in their appearance? Do they look like the world has been beating them into a pulp and dragging them through the mud, or do they look like they just got back from the spa, relaxed and refreshed? God’s prophets weren’t treated well. There is no “rosy only” message from God. God is love, but He is also wrath for unbelievers. God is both, and He wants us to know all sides of Him. No one will never be able to say that God didn’t try to warn us. He gave more warnings to the people of Israel than I would have ever given. He took decades longer to bring penalties, than any human patience could have lasted. All of this for a people who wouldn’t listen to Him. I would have given up, especially knowing that they only change their mind after I punish them.
Would you prefer a God who tells you the whole truth so you know what is coming, or would you prefer to live in la-la land and never have to hear Truth you don’t like? Since it has future impact to you and those you love, one would think most would want to know the Truth. Unfortunately, that is not the case. It’s much easier to ignore the problem, or pretend it isn’t real, than hear news that there are consequences for sin. If you are a believer, this news makes you humble yourself and ask for forgiveness. If you are an unbeliever, this news makes you angry, scared, or just plain anxious. Somewhere inside, no matter how hardened a person is against the Truths in the Bible, they know something terrible is coming if things don’t change for them. They can ignore it, and over time their conscience gets hardened, and it becomes easier to hear the Truth without worrying about it. Most of Israel chose to ignore the warnings sent from God, and it didn’t work out well for them.
So why all the talk about prophets and their predictions about the future? Because you have to know the whole Bible to get the whole message. One thing to know about Bible prophecy, is that if it says something in the Bible will happen, and it hasn’t happened yet, then it is part of the future. Everything God says will happen, always does. Most of the prophecies in the Bible have already come true. What is left are prophecies about the end-times, the 1,000-year reign of Christ as King on earth, and the new heavens and new earth. Our future was given to us through the mouths of prophets throughout the whole OT.
Prophecy is only accurate 100% of the time, when you can control the details along the way. I can tell you that I will drop this water bottle on my desk and it will fall to the ground right now. But I can’t tell you with 100% certainty, that I will do it on December 12th at 6pm. So many things could get in the way of that happening, not the least of I could be dead. The desk could break; or I could get called out of the house for an emergency. There are all kinds of variables. God knows exactly how everything works out, because He is in control of the variables. You can’t accurately predict the future 100% of the time, unless you can control it. Just think about that logically for a minute.
I will tell you again, that not only did God know that I would write this book, He made it happen. He made sure that I am sitting here right now typing this out today. This is more than just God knowing the future. This is God controlling everything, so He gets the outcome He wants every time, without fail.
The same goes for God’s plan for all of His children. The Bible tells us that God knew of us before He created the universe. He wrote the names of all those who would be saved in a book called the “Book of Life”. God chose us before He created Adam, or the earth Adam came from. He set us apart to be saved, before the reason we need saved even occurred. Let that sink in. God didn’t just look in His crystal ball and see that Billy would someday believe in Him, He made it happen. He said it would happen before I was even born, before the universe was born. More to come.
Since we know that the prophets worked for God, we know that all of their predictions will come true. What did God reveal during this period of time in world history? More than you would think! God gave us a lot of insight into why, and how, God was going to punish the nation of Israel for breaking His laws. Some of their punishments have already happened, but some of the worst are still yet to come. However, because God is merciful, He also gave His people a lot of prophecies about all the good things that will come in Israel’s future. Not only good things, perfect things.
The biggest promise Israel was given is that there would be a Savior King, who would come and set up His Kingdom here on earth. He will rule the nations with an iron rod, and Israel will be the chief nation on earth. God made all these promises to the nation of Israel. In a future time, God will come and be King on earth. Yes, this earth, the one we live on now. I’ll skip ahead in the story and tell you that the King did in fact come, and was ready to set up His kingdom, but the people rejected Him. God knew the rejection was coming, and this is why He made plans to make the Kingdom happen for a future generation of Israel, who will be alive right before the Savior comes back again.
If everything I have told you so far about God is true, can you just imagine what the world will be like with God in charge, physically here with us on earth? When God is King here, he will squash evil and chaos before anyone can even act on it. He will know everyone’s motives, and can judge based on what is on their heart, not what is coming out of their mouth. The Bible tells us we will know God’s thoughts instantly, no matter how physically far away we might be. It will be a perfect world for God’s people, with perfect justice and perfect harmony. God gave us a long period of world history to look back on and see that there was no man on earth who ruled perfectly. There is no man on earth that can ensure we all live in real peace for one day, let alone 1,000 years as King. It will take God ruling for any of this to happen. He wants us to see what perfect rule looks like for ourselves. God wants us to see that without Him, none of it is possible.
Right now, there is no such thing as perfect justice. I can name a ton of people who were treated unfairly because of their lowly station in life, or because of what they looked like. I can also name a ton people who got off scot-free because of their higher station in life, or because they were good-looking. There are bribes, corrupt judges, district attorneys, and lawyers who all erode a perfect system of justice. Innocent people are locked up, and the guilty are freed. Today, many think no one is truly guilty, and the innocent really aren’t that innocent. Justice is not blind, and the better lawyer you have, the better your outcome usually is. None of this will happen in the Messianic/Millennial Kingdom that God runs. None of it.
The promises of that glorious future kingdom, also includes believers from the church age. The church age started after Jesus left the earth, and it continues until sometime before He comes back to rule. More on the whole different ages of time thing in a Bible study. Just know God set aside different ages of time. We are in the end-times of our current age right now. When our Savior comes back to rule as King, a new age will start. When the 1,000-year kingdom is over, a new age will start with new heavens and a new earth. I’m hoping I have your interests high enough that you will watch a Bible study on it later. I’m also sure some of it will come up in my book again.
So, God knew we needed saving before the sin came into the world. Why else would He write our names in a book of saved people? God created this world, knowing Adam and Eve would sin. He knew He would have to curse the earth and He knew He would need to bring the flood later down the line. Yet, He still went through with creating it all. Had he chosen to just destroy it all and start over, would you and I even be here right now?
What if the world we grew up in was perfect? Would we really appreciate God like we do now that we have seen how things go wrong without Him? Would we know everything about the God we will be spending eternity with? The answer is no. This whole world is for the believers, and the “not-yet” believers. Everything we learn now about God and His plan will only help us in eternity. How could we ever understand how merciful God is if He didn’t have to save us? This will become clearer as you learn about God through His Word. Knowing the fate God saved us from is essential to knowing the kind of God we serve.
It’s impossible to say you believe in a God who could create everything, is all knowing, and is everywhere all at once, and not believe that He also knew the fall/sin was coming. He knew I was going to be a punk teenager, and a rebellious young man too. He knew all the stupid things I was going to do before He even created me. He knew He was going to get me to write this book, in spite of the way I lived my life. He didn’t just know it because He can see the future, He knew it because He made it so. You will see a lot more examples of this when I tell you what God did in the last 10 years that defy earthly logic.
If you created a world like ours, would you sit back, put your hands up, and just watch what happens? Wouldn’t you be involved in this world you created? Of course you would! The idea that God created us all, and then watches us like some science experiment is wrong. This isn’t Maze Runner. Our God is a God of planning and order. Nothing is by chance. Once you start seeing it, you can’t stop seeing it.
In the OT, God was visibly involved and performed incredible nature defying miracles that all of Israel, and most of the world could see. God was involved in our history, so why wouldn’t He be involved in our present and future? What changed? The only thing that has changed is the way God dispenses His miracles. In the OT, miracles were visible awesome signs for the nation of Israel. Now, God dispenses His miracles on the personal level. Yes, He can still part seas and stop tsunamis, but more often than not, what we see is the kind of stuff that happened to your Uncle Bill over the last 10 years. Stuff that not everyone saw, but none the less were miracles.
I can also tell you that hundreds of prophecies, that gave us detail no man could duplicate, were fulfilled exactly as God told us they would be. The Savior came, and was born in the town God told us He would be born in hundreds of years earlier. The Savior’s ministry on earth and His death and resurrection happened just as the OT prophets told us they would. The nation of Israel rejected their King, just as God told us they would.
Lastly, I just want to explain to you the difference between the Old-Testament and the New-Testament. Testament is another word for covenant, or promise. God promised His people (Israel) in the OT that if they obeyed His laws, they would get tremendous blessings. If they failed to keep His laws, there would be tremendous punishment. This type of covenant, (you can think of it like a contract) required both parties to fulfill their obligations for the guarantees in it to happen. Israel failed to live up to their end of the bargain, and so they received mainly punishment from God. They were kicked out of their land a few times, and they have had no real lasting peace over all their existence.
We will later find out from the New-Testament prophets, (aka apostles) that the Law Israel agreed to keep was impossible to live up to. The law and 10 commandments were given to Israel to show them that they still need a Savior, because no one can be perfect enough to keep all of God’s laws. As I told you before, in order to spend eternity in the good place with God, we have to be perfect. The law was another way of God showing us that we can’t get there on our own no matter how good our intentions, or how hard we try. It is impossible without God.
Another covenant God made in the OT was with Abraham. Abraham is who the Bible calls the “father of faith”. This covenant God made with Abraham was a one-sided only contract. Only God was obligated to fulfill the promises He made in it. Abraham didn’t have to do anything for the guarantees in this covenant to come true. Abraham was promised that God would give Him and his descendants the land of Israel, and more descendants than there are stars in the sky. God promised that all of the families on earth would be blessed through Abraham.
We find out later in the Bible, that all who have faith in God, are spiritual descendants of father Abraham. This is what God means when He said all the nations of earth will be blessed because of Abraham. The physical descendants of Abraham are the Jewish people, who individually, could also be a spiritual descendant, if they believe the Messiah already came and did the work required for them to be saved. A good Bible student would notice that although God promised the physical land of Israel to Abraham, God didn’t fulfil that promise during Abraham’s lifetime. Abraham lived as a transient in Israel, never owning a piece of land outside of the small burial plot He bought to bury His wife in. God made it very clear to us that Abraham was looking towards a future date of the Kingdom, and the land God promised to him wouldn’t come in his lifetime.
Most have heard about the little shepherd kid who killed the mighty Giant Goliath. David, is revered in both Christian and Jewish circles. God loved him, even though He was far from perfect. God made another covenant with David. This was just like Abraham’s in the fact it was only God’s obligation to make it come true. David had to do nothing; the contract was unconditional. God promised David an heir to the throne that would rule forever in perfection. David was gifted with incredible prophetic knowledge. He wrote most of the Psalms, and most of the Psalms tell us about the Savior and His future kingdom. This is where we start to get the knowledge that the Savior will reign as king, from this covenant he made with David. No earthly king can rule forever in perfect peace, so we know He has to be talking about God ruling. It is a physical place that Abraham was promised, so we know God will be ruling from Jerusalem in the future.
So, as I keep telling you, God used these guys to get his plan out in pieces, over a long period of time. God used Ezekiel and Isaiah to give us some of the more detailed writing about the future kingdom, and temple that will be set up there. Daniel gives us the reason why Israel is still facing punishment now, and how long they will have to go through it. Jeremiah tells us that God has a plan to change the hearts of the nation of Israel so that they realize they rejected their Messiah and call out for Him to return. Hose, Joel, and the other minor prophets all wrote about the end-times, the kingdom, and other pieces of God’s plan. Without all of it, we can’t get the complete picture. God wrote every word in the Bible for a reason. I’ll get into more of what these prophets of the OT said about our future later in my book. We will also get into the New Testament/covenant that our Savior enacted, and how it is different from the old one. For now, just keep on reading on…
It was almost 14 years ago that Uncle Bill lost his mind. I was at my “stressimus maximus”. I was miserable at work, and I knew that my day was coming soon. In fact, over the previous year, I had to lay off half of my team. Many of them were my friends, because we worked together for 7 years. This was the longest I’ve ever kept a job. I got lazy, and comfortable. This is exactly what I didn’t want to happen. I got paid a sick amount of money for the work that I did, and I bet I could have stayed there another 7 years had that darn president not been elected.
It was December of 2011 and our AZ family went up north for our annual family vacation. I really like hanging out with you guys on these vacations. It’s awesome when we are all just chillin out and making fun of your parents together. We didn’t get to spend much time together on this vacation though. You guys were still pretty young, so you probably won’t remember uncle Bill’s breakdown. That darn guy who ran the nation worked his way into our conversation the first night there, and it got me all worked up!
I don’t even remember what your grandpa, your moms, or I said, but things got a little heated. Anyway, I stormed out of the room, flipping of my sister on the way out. (I’m sure you know which sister it was.) Lol I can’t explain it; I wasn’t myself, but I was. I don’t remember a time I was angrier and more upset. I couldn’t understand how they could vote for that guy knowing it was going to cost me my job. Family first, right? Whatever. The next morning, I got your aunt and Zach up super early and we drove home. Well, your aunt drove us home. Uncle Bill would’ve had to stay there until all the snow melted, if he had to drive down those crazy curvy mountain roads.
It took me about 3 months to get past that one. I swore I would never go on a family vacation again, but then they started to get more fun as you guys got older and we could hang. Also, a lot changed in the 3 months after my meltdown.
Flash forward just a few months after “fight night with the family”. I was driving my sad self to work. Even though my job was a long way away, I took the back roads there. I hate sitting on the freeway in traffic, I need to be moving. I also wanted to make sure I was mentally prepared for work, and sometimes that took me a while. Anyway, after I turned a 1-hour trip into a 2-hour cruise, I finally made it to the office. Something seemed different that day, and I still can’t explain why I felt that way.
Less than two months prior, I laid off half of my team. The people that actually made work half-way enjoyable for me, were now out enjoying their new free time, while I was still stuck at work. We got a new boss who was there to figure out what to do with our department. Most of our senior leadership team thought my area would go away with the recent bill passed in DC. They panicked, and they started cutting everything and everyone they could. Eventually, their theory proved wrong, and the department is now staffed back up. But I digress….
Anyway, I walked in to my office and pulled up my emails. There was a calendar invite for that afternoon with my boss and the human resources director, down in his office. This was it, layoff day! It was finally here! Now I have to wait all day??? It’s a little HR trick, to use Friday afternoons as the day to let people go. There is less disruption, the business is closed on the weekend, and you give the employees who still work there a few days to digest the news. I had been on the other side of this many times, but never the person waiting to be let go. It was weird.
Since I had to anxiously wait around all day, I slyly packed up everything I wanted to keep, and took several trips out to my car throughout the day. I was sneaky, so no one thought anything was up. I wasn’t supposed to know it was coming, but your Uncle Bill ain’t no fool. I went to lunch a few times that day, then I just sat around deleting emails and clearing out my desk.
Well, 4:00 finally came, and the news I was waiting a year for came with it. I was getting laid off! They offered me a severance package, which you never get when you quit a job. I was going to get paid for a few months while I look for another opportunity. This is crazy! I drove out of that place faster than the cookie dough disappeared after my sister found it! I went over to the K-mart down the road and called your aunt Steph from the nasty old payphone. (I had to give up my company cellphone)
Your aunt Steph knew this day was coming. She has had lots of days like this since she met me, and I would bet she expected it to happen a lot sooner than it did. On the way over to the payphone I was practicing how I would tell her. I started working on my voice inflections: ”Hey babe, (sounding down & out) I just got laid off”. I tried it a few more times before I got out of the car and put the quarter in the phone. I had to call her a couple times because she didn’t recognize the payphone number, so I had to keep that sticky, gross, nasty phone on my ear longer than I wanted to. Plus there were about 20 homeless guys in line behind me waiting impatiently.
My heart was racing. I had plenty of these conversations with your Aunt Steph before, but this one felt different. This one felt a little less my fault than usual. Still, it is hard to tell your wife you lost your job. Trust me, it doesn’t matter how many times you do it, that call home never gets easier. “Hey babe, I just got laid off”, I told her as I struggled to keep the joy in my voice contained. “They gave me a severance package, so I’ve got some time”. Your aunt Steph didn’t like the sound of “I’ve got time”, so she was quick to tell me I better start looking for a job now, because it can take a while. I mumbled “I’ll see you at home”, she told me she loved me, and I disinfected my face hand and ear, and got ready for the long drive home. I remember thinking: “she said she loves me, so she must not be that mad at me”. What a nutjob your uncle Bill is.
I got back in the car and started screaming with joy at the top of my lungs! Woooooooohoooooo! A few of the homeless guys thought I was crazy, but I didn’t care. It was OVAH!!!!!!!!! I felt all that stress just melt right off of me. I still can’t believe they keep paying you after they let you go. What a world! I stopped by my cousin’s house to celebrate and give him the good news. I called your grandma to break it to her as well. If there is anyone who has lived through more of my jobs than Steph it’s my mom. She worries about her boy. I am a momma’s boy; I’ll never be ashamed to admit it. My mom rocks. You know guys know it. Well, she wasn’t too happy about the job going away, but what’s a mother to do? Life got a little less hectic for my her when your aunt Steph came in the picture. It’s like now Steph could take over, and my mom could worry more about you guys. lol
I stayed at this job until God made me leave. I had never done that before. I didn’t handle the year I was waiting for layoff day very well, but I made it. I just kept thinking maybe now is the time to finish the book! This has to be why I got laid off. It’s frickin time!!!!!! Or maybe not….that was 13 years ago….
I spent the next few months before the severance money ran out, trying my hardest to get something written. It had to be the time now. Getting laid off work was the event that would catapult me in to being a successful author, right? Uh….Nope.
I tried starting my own business, and I shacked up in my sister’s office space. That lasted a couple months at best, because that darn president didn’t give me the free money I was hoping for. Still, it was way fire to spend some time with my sister! I even got to see Riley and Kali a lot because they weren’t in school yet, and the office became their daycare center some days. The conference room was their playroom/prison cell. Lol
Even with 4 months of total free time, I couldn’t get a thing done. Instead I went golfing, hung out with cousin Kenny, and spent money like I still had a job. I admit, the whole “getting paid for not working” thing was really not good for me. Your poor Aunt Steph, she saw the same pattern over and over during our time together. Make money, spend money, quit job, run out of money, find new job, make money, and on and on… It was a pattern that I’m sure she still has concerns might happen again in the future. After 4 months of pretty much stress-free fun, I started to get worried. It was obvious I wasn’t going to sell my book before the mortgage payment was due on our house next month.
I hope you learn a lot quicker than Uncle Bill, so you won’t have to go through so much of your life feeling the kind of stress I went through. Make no mistake, I brought all the stress on myself, and I had zero options left. I needed someone to save me from feeling so horrible.
I am literally bawling right now after typing out how stressed I used to be. I remember that sick stressful feeling so well, that it’s bringing me to tears because I haven’t felt that way in a long time. Wow. That is how God works kids! It’s like a total relief I can’t even begin to explain. It’s like I can finally breathe now…
Anywho, back to the story. The party was over, and I gave up. I brought in the big guns to help me. I had to do something drastic.
I need to get up and take a break. I can’t stop crying thinking about this stuff. Holy cow, things have changed a lot since those high stress times. I keep having these flashbacks in my head about what I was thinking back then. There were a lot of happy times sprinkled in there, but how could you ever really be happy, when your lifelong dreams are being shattered? It was a tough pill to swallow at the time, and that is why I am getting so emotional about it right now.
So where were we? Oh yeah, I started reading the Bible. I started praying those “please Lord, help me!” prayers with tears and sometimes fist pounding into the pillow or steering wheel of my car. I needed help getting rid of this pain and disappointment! So I went to the only option I had left: God.
It stinks that sometimes God has to bring people down so low, that they have to look up to Him for help. I am sure glad He brought me low, because it changed me forever.
Today was the first time in a long time that I looked at my life right now and said “it doesn’t get any better than this!” I try to imagine what it would be like had God decided to keep me at that job another 7 years. I can feel the stress just thinking about it. No joke, my heart rate went up and I started getting that feeling in the pit of my stomach again. At the time, I was so pissed off at the darn president, my family, the company I worked for, and anyone else I could blame. Now, I can’t imagine it all going down any other way. I’m doing what I’ve always wanted to, but with God’s twist on it.
This is how I usually notice God’s work in my life. It’s almost always when I take the time to reflect back on key events like losing my job and family fight night. Usually, when you are going through these big life changes, you’re not seeing things clearly. It is really hard to step back in the moment and ask God what He is doing, and what His purpose for it is. It takes a lot of practice, but Uncle Bill is much better at it now.
The moral of the story is that Uncle Bill couldn’t see that God had a plan that was different than his own. I never could have pictured that I would end up where I am right now. When God got the guy in the White House elected, I highly doubt He did it just so I would lose my job. There are a lot of easier ways to get me to leave a place. But He used the bill that was passed to get what He wanted done: me out of the job, and secure financially for the time being.
I should have never been stressed about a job enough to act the way I did on family fight night. I never should have let myself get so down when things didn’t turn around right after I was let go. I should have had more patience. Nothing ever moves fast enough for me, but God isn’t confined by time like we are. God is eternal, and outside of time. His timing in the events of my life was always perfect, because the things I went through and those moments in time, shaped me into who I am today. Little did I know He had quite a bit more teaching to go… Stay tuned. Next chapter I get schooled.
THERE IS HOPE MY SON 