God picked me to get this book to you. He did so, to make sure you had no doubt about who to give credit to for getting it done. Since I am not smart enough, dedicated enough, focused enough, or hard working enough, you have to give the credit to God. I have no college edumication, and I barely got through high school. God had a ton of Godlier, more respected, and higher educated people out there to pick from than me. Heck, even in my own household, I should have been picked last.
God chose me, because it was the perfect way to show you that He was at work. There is no way Uncle Bill could have done it on my own, I tried for 40 years. God knew the day he put the writing bug in my heart, that I would rebel and do all the stupid things I did in the years following. Yet, He still wanted me to do it? Why? Asking questions like this will help you grow closer to God. He wants us to ask why. The same goes for the Bible. A good student of anything, will always ask why. I’ll keep reminding you of this as we go along.
The biggest question we didn’t answer from chapter 1 was: If God created this world and everything in it to be perfect, and God saw that it was good, why does it look and feel like anything but perfect now?
It starts with Genesis chapter 3, but you can tell God knew it was coming in chapters 1 & 2. As a reminder, when God created it all in those 6×24-hour days, everything was perfect. There was no pain, no fear, no anxiety, no lies and most importantly, no death. It was heaven on earth, because God was there.
In the Bible, heaven is defined as anywhere God is. Right now, God is in His throne room which is outside the known universe. That is heaven at this point in time. If you have family members who believed Jesus was God, and that He came to save us, then they are in the throne room with God right now, in heaven. In the future, Jesus will be with us here on this earth. At that point, we will call this place heaven. In the distant future, there is a new heavens and earth created, and then that will be heaven, because the fullness of God will live there with us. Much more to come on the future locations of heaven later in the book.
How do we know that God knew beforehand that the events in Chapter 3 of Genesis were coming? I’ll give you one clue: He created this world with certain features that will not be around when the new heavens and earth are created. He created certain things for this universe, solely because He knew sin was coming. Jump to Revelation Chapter 21 if you want to see what is missing in the new place we live in down the road, when there is no sin.
So, what happened that took what God created, and turned it into what we have today? In short, sin. I would imagine every one of you has heard the story of Adam & Eve in some capacity. I will also assume there is a lot from the story you have never thought of, or heard about.
Let’s start with Adam, and how He came into existence. The Bible tells us in Chapter 2 verse 7, that God formed man from the dust of the ground. This is a very important detail. It explains why our bodies decompose and go back to dust after we die, and why both our DNA and the dirt are built from share the same chore chemicals. Remember this, we will get back to it shortly.
The other detail that verse 7 gave us was that God “breathed into Adam’s nostrils the breath of life”. The meaning for the word “breath” in Hebrew is “spirit”. It is telling us that God formed man as a shell first, then He gave Adam his “spirit”. The spirit is what gave Adam life. Adam needed both his spirit, and the physical body container, to live here on earth.
The Bible teaches that everyone has two separate parts to us. One is our physical body, often called “flesh” in the Bible. The other is our “spirit” or “soul”. Our spirit is invisible, and without it, our body would die. We know all the ways the body can die; we see it all around us. But how does a spirit die? Hold on to that one, keep reading.
When God created Adam; his physical body, and the spirit God placed inside him were perfect. Since they were perfect, (without sin) they would live forever, and they could be in the presence of God forever. God won’t hang out around sin, He can’t. Because God is a perfect and righteous judge, He would have to judge sin at the moment He was in the presence of it. The Bible tells us that the penalty for sin is death, so God is doing us a favor by separating Himself from us and our sin right now. ( see Romans 6:23)
We also find out from reading the Bible, that mankind was created specifically to live on this earth. We have physical bodies that are made to thrive in this environment. If we were all in spirit form only, then we wouldn’t need a physical earth to live on. Remember, there are two parts to every human being: the body and the spirit/soul. We know the physical body can’t live without the spirit, because we saw what Adam’s body was like before God put the spirit in him.
So, what happened to change everything? Sin. It came into the picture from a source that is evil, Satan. God had one instruction for Adam and Eve to follow: “Don’t eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil”. He told Adam that if he eats from this tree, he will surely die. Both Adam and Eve could eat freely from any tree in the garden, just not that one.
Satan, who we start learning about in Genesis chapter 3, approaches Eve in the garden in the form of snake. Satan is a spiritual being, meaning he doesn’t have a physical body like we do. In fact, all angels and fallen angels (demons) are spirit only beings. God the Father is also all spirit. Jesus, when He came to earth as a man, was the only time God was in a physical body like ours. Much more to come on that one.
Since Satan is a spiritual being and not physical, he will at times indwell a physical body to help his cause. He did this with the snake. The snake was just an innocent bystander; it was Satan inside the snake that caused the trouble. We know later in the Bible that Satan also went into Judas and led him to betray Christ.
Satan came in and deceived Eve. In so many words, he told her that God doesn’t want her to eat the fruit, because she will become like God. He told her not to believe God when He said they will surely die if they eat it. These were the first lies ever told on earth, and look where they came from. The Bible tells us Satan is the father of lies, a truth we can see from Genesis 3. So, Eve ate the fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, and Adam followed right along.
What happened next is how everything changed. Sin was now in God’s creation. To put it simply, sin is anything that is an offense to God. Who gets to determine what offends God? Only God does. Sin is like a virus, and once the host is infected, the whole thing dies. It spreads and spreads, causing chaos and death. It becomes part of our nature; it becomes who we are in God’s eyes.
Flashback to Chapter 2 of Genesis, when God had man name all the animals, birds, and all living creatures. When you name something, it means you have authority over it. It means you have dominion. I named Zach, so I have dominion over him until he becomes an adult or moves out of the house. lol God gave Adam (man) authority and dominion over everything on this earth. He was in charge of it all, until he gave it up.
When Adam listened to the council of Satan instead of God, what Adam did was relinquish his authority and dominion here on earth over to Satan. He gave it to him, not knowingly at the time, but that was the result. Had Adam & Eve never sinned; they would have lived forever and would still be running the place.
Now back to the first thing we read about after Adam and eve ate from the tree. They hid from God. They were naked and afraid. This is the first clue that something happened to them spiritually, as they never hid from God before. They used to walk and talk with Him, now they are hiding. That in a nutshell is what sin can do. It not only separates us physically from God, but spiritually as well. Both parts of us are affected by sin.
God knew what Adam and Eve did before they confessed it to Him. God knew they were going to eat the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil before He even created the tree, or the two who ate from the tree. In other words, God knows everything Adam did, will do, or is thinking of doing. He knows the same about all of us. There is no hiding anything from God. He knew about it before you even thought about it.
Now that sin was here, God had to judge it. He is perfect, and can’t let them all off the hook, when the penalty He promised was death. God never goes back on His word. That wasn’t good news to Adam and Eve at the moment, but in the long run, it is awesome knowing God won’t change His mind on His promises. You’ll see why that is so important later. God also made noise when He entered the garden so that Adam and Eve would hear him and hide. He did this as a show of mercy, because had they been face to face with God in their current sinful state, God would have had to judge them instantly. Instead, we hear about how God judges their sin below.
God first cursed the snake. Snakes didn’t always crawl on their bellies, did you know that? He also made woman and the snake natural enemies. Ever wonder why snakes are always associated with evil, con-artists, and liars? Well now you know. This curse is also why very few people actually like snakes in general. Before the curse, the snake was walking either on all fours, or standing up, and Eve wasn’t afraid of it.
God next moved to punish Eve by telling her the pain from childbirth would be multiplied and that her husband would rule over her. Spiritually speaking, man was to be the head and protect women from anything like this happening again. It was Eve who was deceived by the snake, so God instituted this charge for Adam to be the lookout and guard against the lies of the enemy. This didn’t make eve Adam’s slave, because the Bible tells us “all” are created equal in God’s eyes. Any attempt to take this verse. or any others in the Bible. as permission for men to rule over women like task-masters is absurd. This is strictly talking the spiritual, Bible teaching, defender against false truths, and protector of the home type rule.
Lastly, to punish Adam, God cursed the earth. Anytime in the Bible we hear about God cursing something, it always means eternal destruction. As in, it will be destroyed at some point, and it will never come back. When he curses a person, it means that person will be given eternal judgment and never has a chance to find or be with God forever. It’s pretty rare when it does happen in the Bible, so we should pay attention to the “why” of it all.
Notice that God did not curse Adam. He cursed the earth. This means the earth is destined to be destroyed. 2nd Peter 3:10 is one of the verses that confirms the earth’s end. God could have cursed Adam, but He didn’t. God cursed the ground where Adam came from. Since the earth is destined to die out, and Adam and Eve and everyone born after them comes from the earth, we are all destined to die out. If you know the rest of the book, Adam and Eve didn’t physically die right when they ate from the tree, but something did. Adam lived until he was 930-year-old.
What died the second they ate the forbidden fruit, was their spirit. Not in the gone from existence type of dying, but as in now corrupt, full of sin, dead to God. Their spirits that once were perfect, and would live forever with God, are now doomed to an existence without Him. The Bible tells us that as a consequence of Adam’s fall, all humans born after Adam would inherit that same corrupt spirit, dead in nature, and separated from God. We also know from studying God’s Word, that a person’s spirit will never cease to exist. So, even though Adam and Eve’s physical bodies now had to suffer death under the same curse as the earth, their spirits will go on to live forever.
Uh, Houston, we have a problem. Adam and Eve, and anyone born after them, are now on a course to live in darkness, away from the light for all eternity. This is all of us. This is not metaphoric, this is real. Since we know that your spirit lives forever, the sin nature lives forever with you too. Remember when I told you God can’t be around sin without judging someone for it? Well, that means if your spirit is dead and corrupt and sinful, you can’t be around God, ever.
There is the problem, now how do we get around it? How can we change our spiritual nature, or our soul? At minimum we need a perfect spirit to be in heaven with God. Since we know our earthly body dies, we know it won’t go into heaven with us. It seems like a catch 22, as there is no way “humanly” possible for us to exchange out our spirit with a brand new in the box, perfect one.
We have learned that every single one of us is made up of a physical body and a spirit. We have learned like Adam, our physical bodies will die at some point. We have also learned that part of us, our spirit, is going to live forever. That’s pretty eye-opening stuff! All of this within the first 3 chapters of the book. Just wait until you hear the rest.
Remember when I told you that God created our bodies to live and thrive on earth? Well, guess what? We will all have physical bodies, beginning when Jesus comes back. We then keep the same perfect body through all the rest of eternity. Anyone who died before you that is in heaven right now, is in spirit form only. They don’t have a physical body; it is in the ground. They get their new physical body at the same time all Christians do, right before Jesus starts His rule as king on earth.
Wow, lots to digest, and probably a lot to wonder about. Don’t worry if you don’t understand it all right now, it takes time to take in all the incredible things we learn about in God’s book. If anything, this should ignite your curiosity and get you to study more about it.
To recap: Most Bible scholars call the events of Chapter 3 in Genesis “the fall”. This is when man fell from being perfect, and lost an opportunity to be with God.
BEFORE FALL: Adam & Eve had perfect physical bodies and perfect spirits.
AFTER FALL: Adam & Eve had sinful bodies that would now die, and dead natured/sinful spirits, dead to God.
TO GET TO HEAVEN: You need a perfect body and perfect spirit, or a perfect spirit and no body.
WHEN JESUS COMES BACK TO EARTH: You will need both a perfect body and perfect spirit to enter into the Kingdom. (Lots more to come on this one)
God won’t let this problem we have go unsolved. In fact, you don’t even get out of Chapter 3 of Genesis before we read that the solution is coming.
The more this book comes together, the more I see what a moron I was. I wasted so much time. I wasted so much of my life wandering in the wilderness those 40 years. I spent every hour of every day, worrying about my future. I was always trying to picture what my life would be like in 5 or 10 years, but the lens I used was the wrong one. I looked at my life through the lens of the world, when I should have been looking at everything that was happening to me through the lens of the Bible. I should have been comparing my life to Jesus, instead of the rich CEOs I worked for.
I put an incredible amount of pressure on myself, and I partied like a rock start to try and forget it. I never lived in the moment; I was too worried about what was next. Most of it feels like a blur now.
I’ve been writing in a journal since I was 15. I have notebook after notebook filled with my thoughts, ideas, dreams, disappointments, and successes during that time. When I go back and look through it all, it’s pretty depressing. Every time I actually sat down to write, I questioned if I would ever get something done. If there is an overwhelming theme from the stuff I wrote while wandering in the wilderness, it is that I was miserable, and I was always waiting for my story/life to unfold. The most common sentences over thousands of journal entries were: “Why am I going through this?” and “am I ever going to write something?” I thought there was no way out from the expectations I set for myself. I thought the failure that hit me over the head all my life was here to stay.
Instead of going to God for relief, I went to motivational speakers, business leaders, published authors, and the countless books and tapes on earthly success. I have a ton of stressed-out writing in my notebooks, and very little that was positive. I’d write when I was totally wigging out about something, but I didn’t go back and write about how God helped me through it. I guess I was more miserable than I ever realized. Not once, was I ever able to confidently say I know what I am going to do with my life. Sure, I thought I knew a few different times, but God squashed those ideas really quick.
Stressing about my life achievements, and when they would happen, is the only thing I was consistent with in my whole life. It sucked. Job after job I quit, failed attempt to write after failed attempt, I lost hope. All this time, God was trying to teach some valuable lessons, but I was either too altered, or too distracted to notice. Every day for me was either a day to forget, or a day to think about what I haven’t done. It is the worst feeling in the world, and it just kept repeating itself for most of my life.
One of the main reasons I was stuck in that vicious circle is because I failed to recognize that God disciplines His children. God puts us through trials and tests our whole earthly lives. This is how we grow in maturity, and how we grow spiritually. Ask my parents how well it went when they tried to discipline me back in the day….
There is a movie I loved when I was a kid called “Back to the future”. There is a scene in it where the bully knocks on McFly’s head and says : “hello, Mcfly?” “Is there anyone home?” I think of God doing that to me for 40 years. Bill, how many times do we have to go through this? Bill, I thought you promised you wouldn’t do that again? Bill, why are you so upset, don’t you remember I always provide? Bill, why do you need that fancy car? Why did you quit your job before I told you to? Hello, McFly?!!!
I don’t think the main issue God had with me was my 30 jobs, it was the fact that I never gave Him credit for hooking me up with the new ones. Every time I got a new job, it was a better one, and I took all the credit. Uncle Bill has a big head, full of pride. I remember going to the in-laws not long after I found a new job. My father-in-law Tom said “I don’t know how you do it Bill, but you always find a better job, every time”. I just smiled, while thinking in my head how awesome I was, and that the in-laws recognize my talent. Lol It’s weird how this interaction stuck with me over all these years. I think about it a lot, because it was a great chance to give credit where credit was due. Instead, I let Tom’s comment fuel the pride in me even more. In actuality, he was probably thinking: “Bill has had more jobs in 5 years than I’ve had in my life.”
On the outside, I radiated self-confidence; but in reality, it was all but gone by 35. How could that have happened? I was a cocky, over-confident punk, who thought the world revolved around me. Someone had to put me in my place, and many tried. It wasn’t until God brought me down from my perch, that I finally learned what humility was. If there ever was a perfect parent, it is God. God got my pride in check really quick. Over the last 13 years, He has made sure I know who really provides for me and my family. Had I never learned this lesson, I would still be thinking every positive thing in my life was because of me. Because I am awesome. Because I am fire!
Thankfully, God never stopped trying to make me better. When earthly parents might give up because their kids are too out of control, or they are adults now, God won’t. He never grows tired of trying to get something important into my thick skull. This only benefits me, why wouldn’t I want to grow? In fact, spiritual growth (becoming more like Jesus) not only benefits us tremendously in this world, but even more so after Jesus comes back again. Keep reading, God has a lot to say about the time when Jesus comes back.
The Israelites who were rescued from slavery in Egypt, got plenty of learning lessons, plenty of discipline, and plenty of time wasted in the wilderness too. You can read all about it in the books of Exodus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy in the Bible. Did you know it took Israel 40 years to reach the land God promised after they left Egypt? Do you know they should have been able to get there in 2 weeks? So, what was the hold-up there? What was the hold-up that had Uncle Bill wandering in the wilderness for 40 years? In both cases, it was man being stubborn, and purposely ignoring God’s attempts to point out our wrongs.
Israel broke God’s laws given to Moses on the mountain. I broke God’s laws, and I broke man’s laws. Most of the people of Israel, who were old enough to know better when God rescued them from Egypt, never made it to the promised land. It was supposed to be a short trip, yet most of them died in the wilderness. In contrast, I already have my citizenship to the promised land. I’m just waiting for the place to open; they are expecting me. I decided to wander around for a while and hang out in the desert first. I chose to try and “live my best life now”, but it never worked. I was always thirsty, hungry, hot, and tired. I just kept wandering, going in circles over and over again. The way I felt, (thirsty, hot, etc.) is what the Bible tells us life after death for the unbeliever will feel like. More on all that later.
Remember one of the questions I posed earlier in the book? Why couldn’t Uncle Bill be good, when he knows God wanted him to be good? One answer is because Uncle Bill was stubborn, and I didn’t learn from my mistakes very quickly.
The other part of the answer lies in what we discussed about sin in chapter 3. We are born with sin; and it is part of our nature. It was passed down through Adam, to every person ever born on earth, minus the One. My sin nature is opposed to God, so it is always working to try and undermine God or my belief in God. I can’t blame Satan for everything I do wrong, but the sin and lies he brought into this world, sure make it hard to be good. In fact, this side of heaven, it is impossible to be as good as God wants us to be. Did you know that? We can’t change who we are, but thankfully God can.
Do you know that your parents didn’t teach you to be bad, but they had to teach you to be good? Which side of a child’s nature comes out first, and is instinctual…good or bad? Did anyone teach me to lie? Nope, I just preferred to lie over telling the truth most times. A lot of times it was because I was too embarrassed to admit that I was a failure. Other times it was to cover up another lie, or to get me out of work, or doing chores. This was another thing God had to work on with me over and over again. I wrote a FB post to Zach 10 years ago about excuses. This sums up how I lived with lies and excuses during my time in the wilderness. Check it out:
As I got older, I could lie and cover it up so well that I believed it in my own head. I had lies that no one would ever know about. There are still lies that I have yet to admit, stupid ones that I know would be fine if I owned up to them now.
Ok let’s give it a try: Dad, if you are reading this book, and you are at this point, I have to tell you something….
Remember the Ford Ranger you used to have? Remember the one time I came home with part of the front all crushed in? Remember when I told you that I was in the parking lot, and when I came out of the store the damage was there? Remember Uncle Tom seeing it and saying it looks like someone hit a pole? Well, that is what I did. I was trying to spin the wheels in the grass at a small church. The grass was wet and I lost control and hit their flag pole. Sorry about that pop! I feel better now, if that is any consolation. Lol The Church also learned to put a large concrete barrier around the pole after that. What a punk I was, and still am sometimes.
This was one of the main reasons that God had to keep teaching me the same lessons over and over. I wouldn’t get it. Thankfully He didn’t give up trying, because I do get it now. It wasn’t until after my 40 years in the wilderness, after all the trials and tests, that I finally stopped worrying about my future. It is the most freeing thing I have ever felt! Living each day as it comes, knowing God has a plan for me and this world, is all I need now.
It was 5 years ago, right around Christmas 2020. The nation was experiencing all the Covid hysteria, and I was winding down a consulting gig God gave me. It was then, before I knew what would come next, that I decided I didn’t care if I ever wrote another thing. I didn’t care about any of the dreams I had my whole life. I was just so happy knowing the Truth, and that God gave me so much time to read and study the Bible. Nothing else mattered to me after that. I finally knew my future, and it wasn’t here on earth that I cared about anymore. God gave that peace to me 5 years before I started writing this book. It’s almost like I had to give up the priority I put on my dream, and put it on God. Once I did that, it all started to happen. Now the dream, and the peace, are both real.
I can’t explain how great I feel right now, writing this. I have not had the stress over my failed life in a little over 10 years. The sick feeling I had in my gut all those years is gone. I didn’t think the day would ever come. I am not sure I could have been further down in the dumps, but now I am more alive and hopeful than any time in my life. This is what a miracle looks like! To come out of the wilderness virtually unscathed, can only be God’s doing.
It sure would have been nice if God could have come right out and told me what His plans were for me all those years ago. Like this: “Hey Bill, I know I told you about being a writer, but first you are going to have 30 jobs, lots of stress, and no money. I’ll give you some joy in there with a wonderful wife and kid, but you will have to wait until you are the same age as the speed limit to get it done. You aren’t going to write it for the money, and it’s going to be a book about Me and how I worked in your life. You are going to write it for your future nieces and nephews.”
Actually, now that I think about it, I wouldn’t have wanted to know all of that! I know it wouldn’t have helped me. Who wants to know they have to wait 40 years and go through all that crap? I would have probably done the same things, but with a mentality to prove God wrong. I would have said, “I can do it quicker. I don’t want to wait for some punk kids I don’t know to be born.” I couldn’t have even imagined my little sisters getting married, let alone having kids. No way I could have benefited by knowing it all up front. If I knew all the pain that was coming, I may have tried to shut myself up in the house my whole life.
As we’ve learned in Genesis 1 chapter 3, and from everything I have told you so far about my life, God doesn’t give the whole plan up front. He purposely revealed more and more through time, slowly unveiling His plan for us throughout the centuries. This is a key concept in the Bible, and is the way that God gave out His program for the past, present, and future. Now that the Bible is finished, God is done revealing His plan. Sure, He may give a person here on earth more insight into what God already promised would happen, but never anything that would contradict the Bible. There is a position in God’s workforce called Prophet. They speak for God, and He expects those who hear the prophet’s words to listen. What could go wrong there?
Today, there are many people out there calling themselves prophets. There are zero (0) who have 100% accuracy in their predictions. In fact, most have closer to 0% accuracy. The Bible tells us that any prophet of God will be known, because 100% of everything they predict will come true. 100%! God used prophets as mouthpieces. They spoke exactly what God told them to; nothing more, nothing less. So why did God use prophets? For one, as I mentioned earlier, this was the method that He used to reveal His plan over time. Different prophets, over different times in history, would all have pieces of God’s plan that would eventually come together into what we know today.
Get this… not one of the Old-Testament (OT) prophets had as much insight into God’s plan as we do today. All the prophets died, only knowing a piece of the puzzle that they were given. They put their faith in God’s plan, even though they didn’t know all the details we have now. The prophets heard directly from God, yet they knew little compared to what you can know by studying the Bible. That is pretty remarkable, and it makes me incredibly grateful I was born after the Bible was completed, and the whole plan was revealed! I’m also extremely blessed that God gave me the last 13 years to study it full-time. Now that the Bible is complete, God is finished bringing prophets to us for the purpose of revealing His plans. He has told us everything He intended to tell us in the Bible; there is no need for any more prophets or apostles.
Hebrews 1:1-2: ‘God, after He spoke long ago to the fathers in the prophets in many portions and in many ways, in these last days has spoken to us in His Son, whom He appointed heir of all things, through whom also He made the world. ‘
God also used prophets to write the Bible. They spoke Gods words, usually to Israel, and then put them on paper scrolls. There was no complete Bible back then, as the Savior wasn’t even here yet. It was also the norm, that the common person (non-priest) didn’t own any of God’s written word. The scrolls weren’t cheap, and the amount of time it took to copy it all over, word for word by hand, took forever.
Another way God used the Prophets like Moses, was as the middle-man between the people and God. In the wilderness, the people of Israel were so frightened by God’s voice, the earth shaking, and the ramifications of His Words, that they asked Moses to speak and talk to God on their behalf. This is what we would all feel like if God was that close to us in the sinful state we are in now. We would fall to the ground on our face with fear, because instinctively we would know we are standing in front of the judge of our sin. Our Father in heaven would not be reaching out for a hug in that moment.
From the time of Moses forward, God used prophets, and never spoke directly to the nation of Israel again. Even today, believers have a mediator between us and God the Father. Someone we have to go through for God the Father to hear our prayers. There are also middle-men/women between unbelievers and God. The Bible tells us that God only hears His children’s prayers, so those who are not His, need someone to help relay the info to God I’ll get into all this later, don’t worry.
Anyone who claims to hear from God, but contradicts what God has already said in the Bible, is wrong 100% of the time. They may be hearing from a spiritual being, but it isn’t God. Once the Savior came, and God’s plan was fully revealed, there was no need for any more people to tell us what God has in store. We have all we need to know about our future, and the future of mankind, right in the Bible. Anyone who wants to take away, or add to God’s Word, is doing so for worldly reasons like fame or wealth. Always look for the motives behind people who call themselves prophets. False prophets have been around since the serpent in the Garden of Eden. People of the world will always choose to listen to them, because their message blows sunshine up people’s butts.
True prophets sent from God, always speak the truth, no matter how hard it is for people to hear. If there was a real prophet walking amongst us today, His message would be the same as all the prophets in the Bible. No one would listen to him, and his following would be very small. He would get attacked, and probably killed, just like many did. People who don’t believe in the promises of God, don’t want to hear that a judge is coming. They don’t want to know that there are consequences for their actions and unbelief. God’s prophet’s always spoke the Truth, even when no one wanted to hear it.
To keep it simple for you: if you run into someone calling themselves a prophet, look to see if they are happy or miserable. Are they wearing an Armani suit with Air 1 Jordan sneakers, or do they look worn down, and humble in their appearance? Do they look like the world has been beating them into a pulp and dragging them through the mud, or do they look like they just got back from the spa, relaxed and refreshed? God’s prophets weren’t treated well. There is no “rosy only” message from God. God is love, but He is also wrath for unbelievers. God is both, and He wants us to know all sides of Him. No one will never be able to say that God didn’t try to warn us. He gave more warnings to the people of Israel than I would have ever given. He took decades longer to bring penalties, than any human patience could have lasted. All of this for a people who wouldn’t listen to Him. I would have given up, especially knowing that they only change their mind after I punish them.
Would you prefer a God who tells you the whole truth so you know what is coming, or would you prefer to live in la-la land and never have to hear Truth you don’t like? Since it has future impact to you and those you love, one would think most would want to know the Truth. Unfortunately, that is not the case. It’s much easier to ignore the problem, or pretend it isn’t real, than hear news that there are consequences for sin. If you are a believer, this news makes you humble yourself and ask for forgiveness. If you are an unbeliever, this news makes you angry, scared, or just plain anxious. Somewhere inside, no matter how hardened a person is against the Truths in the Bible, they know something terrible is coming if things don’t change for them. They can ignore it, and over time their conscience gets hardened, and it becomes easier to hear the Truth without worrying about it. Most of Israel chose to ignore the warnings sent from God, and it didn’t work out well for them.
So why all the talk about prophets and their predictions about the future? Because you have to know the whole Bible to get the whole message. One thing to know about Bible prophecy, is that if it says something in the Bible will happen, and it hasn’t happened yet, then it is part of the future. Everything God says will happen, always does. Most of the prophecies in the Bible have already come true. What is left are prophecies about the end-times, the 1,000-year reign of Christ as King on earth, and the new heavens and new earth. Our future was given to us through the mouths of prophets throughout the whole OT.
Prophecy is only accurate 100% of the time, when you can control the details along the way. I can tell you that I will drop this water bottle on my desk and it will fall to the ground right now. But I can’t tell you with 100% certainty, that I will do it on December 12th at 6pm. So many things could get in the way of that happening, not the least of I could be dead. The desk could break; or I could get called out of the house for an emergency. There are all kinds of variables. God knows exactly how everything works out, because He is in control of the variables. You can’t accurately predict the future 100% of the time, unless you can control it. Just think about that logically for a minute.
I will tell you again, that not only did God know that I would write this book, He made it happen. He made sure that I am sitting here right now typing this out today. This is more than just God knowing the future. This is God controlling everything, so He gets the outcome He wants every time, without fail.
The same goes for God’s plan for all of His children. The Bible tells us that God knew of us before He created the universe. He wrote the names of all those who would be saved in a book called the “Book of Life”. God chose us before He created Adam, or the earth Adam came from. He set us apart to be saved, before the reason we need saved even occurred. Let that sink in. God didn’t just look in His crystal ball and see that Billy would someday believe in Him, He made it happen. He said it would happen before I was even born, before the universe was born. More to come.
Since we know that the prophets worked for God, we know that all of their predictions will come true. What did God reveal during this period of time in world history? More than you would think! God gave us a lot of insight into why, and how, God was going to punish the nation of Israel for breaking His laws. Some of their punishments have already happened, but some of the worst are still yet to come. However, because God is merciful, He also gave His people a lot of prophecies about all the good things that will come in Israel’s future. Not only good things, perfect things.
The biggest promise Israel was given is that there would be a Savior King, who would come and set up His Kingdom here on earth. He will rule the nations with an iron rod, and Israel will be the chief nation on earth. God made all these promises to the nation of Israel. In a future time, God will come and be King on earth. Yes, this earth, the one we live on now. I’ll skip ahead in the story and tell you that the King did in fact come, and was ready to set up His kingdom, but the people rejected Him. God knew the rejection was coming, and this is why He made plans to make the Kingdom happen for a future generation of Israel, who will be alive right before the Savior comes back again.
If everything I have told you so far about God is true, can you just imagine what the world will be like with God in charge, physically here with us on earth? When God is King here, he will squash evil and chaos before anyone can even act on it. He will know everyone’s motives, and can judge based on what is on their heart, not what is coming out of their mouth. The Bible tells us we will know God’s thoughts instantly, no matter how physically far away we might be. It will be a perfect world for God’s people, with perfect justice and perfect harmony. God gave us a long period of world history to look back on and see that there was no man on earth who ruled perfectly. There is no man on earth that can ensure we all live in real peace for one day, let alone 1,000 years as King. It will take God ruling for any of this to happen. He wants us to see what perfect rule looks like for ourselves. God wants us to see that without Him, none of it is possible.
Right now, there is no such thing as perfect justice. I can name a ton of people who were treated unfairly because of their lowly station in life, or because of what they looked like. I can also name a ton people who got off scot-free because of their higher station in life, or because they were good-looking. There are bribes, corrupt judges, district attorneys, and lawyers who all erode a perfect system of justice. Innocent people are locked up, and the guilty are freed. Today, many think no one is truly guilty, and the innocent really aren’t that innocent. Justice is not blind, and the better lawyer you have, the better your outcome usually is. None of this will happen in the Messianic/Millennial Kingdom that God runs. None of it.
The promises of that glorious future kingdom, also includes believers from the church age. The church age started after Jesus left the earth, and it continues until sometime before He comes back to rule. More on the whole different ages of time thing in a Bible study. Just know God set aside different ages of time. We are in the end-times of our current age right now. When our Savior comes back to rule as King, a new age will start. When the 1,000-year kingdom is over, a new age will start with new heavens and a new earth. I’m hoping I have your interests high enough that you will watch a Bible study on it later. I’m also sure some of it will come up in my book again.
So, God knew we needed saving before the sin came into the world. Why else would He write our names in a book of saved people? God created this world, knowing Adam and Eve would sin. He knew He would have to curse the earth and He knew He would need to bring the flood later down the line. Yet, He still went through with creating it all. Had he chosen to just destroy it all and start over, would you and I even be here right now?
What if the world we grew up in was perfect? Would we really appreciate God like we do now that we have seen how things go wrong without Him? Would we know everything about the God we will be spending eternity with? The answer is no. This whole world is for the believers, and the “not-yet” believers. Everything we learn now about God and His plan will only help us in eternity. How could we ever understand how merciful God is if He didn’t have to save us? This will become clearer as you learn about God through His Word. Knowing the fate God saved us from is essential to knowing the kind of God we serve.
It’s impossible to say you believe in a God who could create everything, is all knowing, and is everywhere all at once, and not believe that He also knew the fall/sin was coming. He knew I was going to be a punk teenager, and a rebellious young man too. He knew all the stupid things I was going to do before He even created me. He knew He was going to get me to write this book, in spite of the way I lived my life. He didn’t just know it because He can see the future, He knew it because He made it so. You will see a lot more examples of this when I tell you what God did in the last 10 years that defy earthly logic.
If you created a world like ours, would you sit back, put your hands up, and just watch what happens? Wouldn’t you be involved in this world you created? Of course you would! The idea that God created us all, and then watches us like some science experiment is wrong. This isn’t Maze Runner. Our God is a God of planning and order. Nothing is by chance. Once you start seeing it, you can’t stop seeing it.
In the OT, God was visibly involved and performed incredible nature defying miracles that all of Israel, and most of the world could see. God was involved in our history, so why wouldn’t He be involved in our present and future? What changed? The only thing that has changed is the way God dispenses His miracles. In the OT, miracles were visible awesome signs for the nation of Israel. Now, God dispenses His miracles on the personal level. Yes, He can still part seas and stop tsunamis, but more often than not, what we see is the kind of stuff that happened to your Uncle Bill over the last 10 years. Stuff that not everyone saw, but none the less were miracles.
I can also tell you that hundreds of prophecies, that gave us detail no man could duplicate, were fulfilled exactly as God told us they would be. The Savior came, and was born in the town God told us He would be born in hundreds of years earlier. The Savior’s ministry on earth and His death and resurrection happened just as the OT prophets told us they would. The nation of Israel rejected their King, just as God told us they would.
Lastly, I just want to explain to you the difference between the Old-Testament and the New-Testament. Testament is another word for covenant, or promise. God promised His people (Israel) in the OT that if they obeyed His laws, they would get tremendous blessings. If they failed to keep His laws, there would be tremendous punishment. This type of covenant, (you can think of it like a contract) required both parties to fulfill their obligations for the guarantees in it to happen. Israel failed to live up to their end of the bargain, and so they received mainly punishment from God. They were kicked out of their land a few times, and they have had no real lasting peace over all their existence.
We will later find out from the New-Testament prophets, (aka apostles) that the Law Israel agreed to keep was impossible to live up to. The law and 10 commandments were given to Israel to show them that they still need a Savior, because no one can be perfect enough to keep all of God’s laws. As I told you before, in order to spend eternity in the good place with God, we have to be perfect. The law was another way of God showing us that we can’t get there on our own no matter how good our intentions, or how hard we try. It is impossible without God.
Another covenant God made in the OT was with Abraham. Abraham is who the Bible calls the “father of faith”. This covenant God made with Abraham was a one-sided only contract. Only God was obligated to fulfill the promises He made in it. Abraham didn’t have to do anything for the guarantees in this covenant to come true. Abraham was promised that God would give Him and his descendants the land of Israel, and more descendants than there are stars in the sky. God promised that all of the families on earth would be blessed through Abraham.
We find out later in the Bible, that all who have faith in God, are spiritual descendants of father Abraham. This is what God means when He said all the nations of earth will be blessed because of Abraham. The physical descendants of Abraham are the Jewish people, who individually, could also be a spiritual descendant, if they believe the Messiah already came and did the work required for them to be saved. A good Bible student would notice that although God promised the physical land of Israel to Abraham, God didn’t fulfil that promise during Abraham’s lifetime. Abraham lived as a transient in Israel, never owning a piece of land outside of the small burial plot He bought to bury His wife in. God made it very clear to us that Abraham was looking towards a future date of the Kingdom, and the land God promised to him wouldn’t come in his lifetime.
Most have heard about the little shepherd kid who killed the mighty Giant Goliath. David, is revered in both Christian and Jewish circles. God loved him, even though He was far from perfect. God made another covenant with David. This was just like Abraham’s in the fact it was only God’s obligation to make it come true. David had to do nothing; the contract was unconditional. God promised David an heir to the throne that would rule forever in perfection. David was gifted with incredible prophetic knowledge. He wrote most of the Psalms, and most of the Psalms tell us about the Savior and His future kingdom. This is where we start to get the knowledge that the Savior will reign as king, from this covenant he made with David. No earthly king can rule forever in perfect peace, so we know He has to be talking about God ruling. It is a physical place that Abraham was promised, so we know God will be ruling from Jerusalem in the future.
So, as I keep telling you, God used these guys to get his plan out in pieces, over a long period of time. God used Ezekiel and Isaiah to give us some of the more detailed writing about the future kingdom, and temple that will be set up there. Daniel gives us the reason why Israel is still facing punishment now, and how long they will have to go through it. Jeremiah tells us that God has a plan to change the hearts of the nation of Israel so that they realize they rejected their Messiah and call out for Him to return. Hose, Joel, and the other minor prophets all wrote about the end-times, the kingdom, and other pieces of God’s plan. Without all of it, we can’t get the complete picture. God wrote every word in the Bible for a reason. I’ll get into more of what these prophets of the OT said about our future later in my book. We will also get into the New Testament/covenant that our Savior enacted, and how it is different from the old one. For now, just keep on reading on…
It was almost 14 years ago that Uncle Bill lost his mind. I was at my “stressimus maximus”. I was miserable at work, and I knew that my day was coming soon. In fact, over the previous year, I had to lay off half of my team. Many of them were my friends, because we worked together for 7 years. This was the longest I’ve ever kept a job. I got lazy, and comfortable. This is exactly what I didn’t want to happen. I got paid a sick amount of money for the work that I did, and I bet I could have stayed there another 7 years had that darn president not been elected.
It was December of 2011 and our AZ family went up north for our annual family vacation. I really like hanging out with you guys on these vacations. It’s awesome when we are all just chillin out and making fun of your parents together. We didn’t get to spend much time together on this vacation though. You guys were still pretty young, so you probably won’t remember uncle Bill’s breakdown. That darn guy who ran the nation worked his way into our conversation the first night there, and it got me all worked up!
I don’t even remember what your grandpa, your moms, or I said, but things got a little heated. Anyway, I stormed out of the room, flipping of my sister on the way out. (I’m sure you know which sister it was.) Lol I can’t explain it; I wasn’t myself, but I was. I don’t remember a time I was angrier and more upset. I couldn’t understand how they could vote for that guy knowing it was going to cost me my job. Family first, right? Whatever. The next morning, I got your aunt and Zach up super early and we drove home. Well, your aunt drove us home. Uncle Bill would’ve had to stay there until all the snow melted, if he had to drive down those crazy curvy mountain roads.
It took me about 3 months to get past that one. I swore I would never go on a family vacation again, but then they started to get more fun as you guys got older and we could hang. Also, a lot changed in the 3 months after my meltdown.
Flash forward just a few months after “fight night with the family”. I was driving my sad self to work. Even though my job was a long way away, I took the back roads there. I hate sitting on the freeway in traffic, I need to be moving. I also wanted to make sure I was mentally prepared for work, and sometimes that took me a while. Anyway, after I turned a 1-hour trip into a 2-hour cruise, I finally made it to the office. Something seemed different that day, and I still can’t explain why I felt that way.
Less than two months prior, I laid off half of my team. The people that actually made work half-way enjoyable for me, were now out enjoying their new free time, while I was still stuck at work. We got a new boss who was there to figure out what to do with our department. Most of our senior leadership team thought my area would go away with the recent bill passed in DC. They panicked, and they started cutting everything and everyone they could. Eventually, their theory proved wrong, and the department is now staffed back up. But I digress….
Anyway, I walked in to my office and pulled up my emails. There was a calendar invite for that afternoon with my boss and the human resources director, down in his office. This was it, layoff day! It was finally here! Now I have to wait all day??? It’s a little HR trick, to use Friday afternoons as the day to let people go. There is less disruption, the business is closed on the weekend, and you give the employees who still work there a few days to digest the news. I had been on the other side of this many times, but never the person waiting to be let go. It was weird.
Since I had to anxiously wait around all day, I slyly packed up everything I wanted to keep, and took several trips out to my car throughout the day. I was sneaky, so no one thought anything was up. I wasn’t supposed to know it was coming, but your Uncle Bill ain’t no fool. I went to lunch a few times that day, then I just sat around deleting emails and clearing out my desk.
Well, 4:00 finally came, and the news I was waiting a year for came with it. I was getting laid off! They offered me a severance package, which you never get when you quit a job. I was going to get paid for a few months while I look for another opportunity. This is crazy! I drove out of that place faster than the cookie dough disappeared after my sister found it! I went over to the K-mart down the road and called your aunt Steph from the nasty old payphone. (I had to give up my company cellphone)
Your aunt Steph knew this day was coming. She has had lots of days like this since she met me, and I would bet she expected it to happen a lot sooner than it did. On the way over to the payphone I was practicing how I would tell her. I started working on my voice inflections: ”Hey babe, (sounding down & out) I just got laid off”. I tried it a few more times before I got out of the car and put the quarter in the phone. I had to call her a couple times because she didn’t recognize the payphone number, so I had to keep that sticky, gross, nasty phone on my ear longer than I wanted to. Plus there were about 20 homeless guys in line behind me waiting impatiently.
My heart was racing. I had plenty of these conversations with your Aunt Steph before, but this one felt different. This one felt a little less my fault than usual. Still, it is hard to tell your wife you lost your job. Trust me, it doesn’t matter how many times you do it, that call home never gets easier. “Hey babe, I just got laid off”, I told her as I struggled to keep the joy in my voice contained. “They gave me a severance package, so I’ve got some time”. Your aunt Steph didn’t like the sound of “I’ve got time”, so she was quick to tell me I better start looking for a job now, because it can take a while. I mumbled “I’ll see you at home”, she told me she loved me, and I disinfected my face hand and ear, and got ready for the long drive home. I remember thinking: “she said she loves me, so she must not be that mad at me”. What a nutjob your uncle Bill is.
I got back in the car and started screaming with joy at the top of my lungs! Woooooooohoooooo! A few of the homeless guys thought I was crazy, but I didn’t care. It was OVAH!!!!!!!!! I felt all that stress just melt right off of me. I still can’t believe they keep paying you after they let you go. What a world! I stopped by my cousin’s house to celebrate and give him the good news. I called your grandma to break it to her as well. If there is anyone who has lived through more of my jobs than Steph it’s my mom. She worries about her boy. I am a momma’s boy; I’ll never be ashamed to admit it. My mom rocks. You know guys know it. Well, she wasn’t too happy about the job going away, but what’s a mother to do? Life got a little less hectic for my her when your aunt Steph came in the picture. It’s like now Steph could take over, and my mom could worry more about you guys. lol
I stayed at this job until God made me leave. I had never done that before. I didn’t handle the year I was waiting for layoff day very well, but I made it. I just kept thinking maybe now is the time to finish the book! This has to be why I got laid off. It’s frickin time!!!!!! Or maybe not….that was 13 years ago….
Sometimes I think the Bible should come with a warning label. Since it doesn’t, I will give you one: “WARNING, CONTENTS INSIDE WILL CAUSE SIDE-EFFECTS”. I think the reason I avoided reading the Bible until it was made a requirement to attend God’s school, was that I was afraid to know what was in there. I was afraid there was going to be a bunch of rules that I didn’t know about. You know what they say: “what you don’t know can’t be held against you”. It was probably some of the dumbest logic I have ever used in my life. What am I some mob boss who doesn’t want to know the details of a hit he sent his guys out on, so he can deny it later? What a whack-job I am. lol
When God enrolled me in Bible 101, the first 6 months was nothing but reading the Bible. I told you some of the things I learned during that time in my last chapter. God gave me some peace and relief from stress and worry. He taught me that I shouldn’t be anxious over things I can’t control, and He helped me understand more about heaven. One of the side-effects I got from reading the Bible, was an overwhelming desire to share what I was learning. The stuff in those pages was so incredible, that I had to share it. Naturally, I started with the people I was most comfortable with, my family.
I remember, asking God to give me boldness and courage to tell you guys about God. I got Haley & Nikk’s email addresses, as well as the emails for my sister-in-law, my parents, the in-laws, my sisters, Steph and Zach. My plan was to start sharing Bible verses through that family email chain. I was pretty nervous the first time I sent one out. I started with just a Bible verse, then as I got bolder, I added some of my commentary on it. It’s hard to believe I was nervous about sending out an email, when I would end up doing live Bible study on Facebook a few months later.
I started the thereishopemyson.com website right at the end of my first semester in Bible 101, and would use it to post the same sort of things I was emailing the family. I started giving more detail and comments on the verses as I went along. The only school major that God offers is in Biblical Studies, so I didn’t have to worry about making that decision. There is only one book, and you can get it for free. If you know the One who runs the place, tuition is not a concern, and you will get help with room and board. Wow, doesn’t all this sound too good to be true? For me it was!
Everyone is looking for wisdom and learning that will help them find success, happiness, contentment, and peace in their lives, right? Nope, not everyone. Some will always think they can get the same thing from worldly sources.
My first goal was to help Zach understand and know who God is. We started going to one of the big churches here, and we were pretty consistent with it. Every time I went to church it seemed like the message was tailored to me. It was almost too hard to believe, but I lived through it, so I know it was real. I still have all the notes I wrote on the church bulletins during that time.
It was getting pretty obvious with everything that was happening to me, that God was training me up for something. It never felt like training though. It felt like reading the greatest piece of literature, history and wisdom ever written, and then finding out more and more every time I read it. I wanted more…I needed more. Does that sound normal? Do you know anyone who is obsessed with studying the Bible? Do you know anyone who also had the time to study it as much as they wanted to? I didn’t think so. This is how you know it is a sign. You already know a lot of my story, and you know I wasn’t picked to do this because of my qualifications. There is a saying out there that “God doesn’t call the prepared, He prepares the called”. My life is an obvious picture of that being true.
I started Bible study for Zach. I figured that I’d record it so he could listen to it the way you youngins like to. I quickly moved to doing them live on Facebook. I never pressured Zach to listen to the studies, and I never tried to sell him on anything the Bible talks about. I went through the Old-Testament verse-by-verse, and it took me 2 years and around 60 videos. The result was that Zach asked to be baptized, and I got to be the one to baptize him in my mom’s backyard pool! I can’t tell you what a relief and a joy that day was. Now I don’t have to worry about Zach’s eternity, and I know I get to spend forever with him. Who cares what job he has or what he accomplishes here, because that day will go down as the proudest of him I will ever be. You can tell someone you believe in God, but until you show it by getting baptized, no one really knows. I remember thinking maybe this is the reason God had me study the Bible; just to teach Zach.
I know of at least one of you guys, who was going to be baptized, but thankfully backed out. You have questions, and weren’t sure what you believe yet. Zach had no question. That doesn’t mean he knew all the answers, he just had no doubt God is real and that he should be baptized. It’s one of those: “if you know you know kind” of deals. It shouldn’t take convincing, and you just know you need to do it. I had very little understanding when I was dunked in a tank at Immanuel Baptist Church, but I knew I wanted to do it. I’ll tell you more about baptism when we get to the reason why we do it.
When I found out Zach was saved, (he told me he believed, and then got baptized to show everyone he believed) I moved on to thinking more about you guys. I now had a few years of Bible study under my belt, and I was ready to start some videos on the New Testament. I had a lot of momentum, and two years doing live Bible study is a long time. But for some reason, I never started anything new after that. I tried and tried, but soon realized that there was still a lot for me to learn. God can slow us down or even stop us from doing something whenever He wants to. I tried so hard to get new videos or Bible studies done, but I felt like I was stuck in the mud. I was bummed every day I sat there getting nothing done.
There is this Percy Jackson movie where they end up in the “Lotus Hotel & Casino”. This place is a trap, and the way it traps you is by making you lose track of time. You are eating something that alters your state of mind. They have all the fun & games and food you would ever need, and by the time you realize you’ve been there a long time, it’s too late to save the world. Geeze, that almost sounds like Vegas. Heck, it also sounds like my life in a lot of ways. Distracted, and time flew by with nothing accomplished but a bunch of fun and games… I look up one day, and I’m 40.
Anyway, I bring that movie scene up because that is how I felt up until 3 weeks ago when I started writing this book. I kept trying, but nothing. I kept stressing, still nothing. All it took was getting on the Facebook and hitting go live. All it took was me getting on the computer and typing out what I’ve learned. It’s not like it was physically or mentally hard. I knew the stuff, or so I thought. Why nothing? Again, a wise child of God will always ask why, even if you don’t get the answer right away, or the answer you were expecting.
The same thing was still happening on the job front. Although I was more optimistic and grateful about the jobs God gave me, I never had one that lasted. Many of the jobs during Bible school were part-time and temporary jobs. If someone was paying attention, they would notice that all the same things were still happening in my life, even after I started reading the Bible and changing my life. I was broke, and I went through more jobs in those 13 years than any similar timespan in my life. I was always “trying” to write, do Bible studies, get a job, or just do something. Nope…nothing done. There is a misconception out there that once you start reading the Bible, or once you are saved, everything in life is smooth. The Bible teaches the exact opposite.
So what was the difference between pre-Bible and post-Bible time for me? I had nowhere near the stress or fear after I started reading the Bible. There wasn’t even close to the same amount of anxiety. This time, I just let God drive. It isn’t easy giving up control, but God gave me no other option. I wanted in…all in, and you can’t do that and still try to drive.
To the world this is crazy behavior. But remember, I had already spent half my life doing the same thing, but I relied on me instead of God. Look how that worked out. This go-round, I put my trust in God, and He delivered time after time after time. There is nothing like the experience of seeing God come through in ways you never could have predicted. Nothing beats having to rely on God for everything.
The majority of you guys were still pretty young, so Bible study wasn’t the option God gave me to reach you. God wanted this book to serve that purpose. The first thing God gave me to help my research for the book, was lots of time to spend with you. I can’t even begin to count all of your visits, your soccer, your basketball, volleyball, plays, graduations, school music events, spring fall and summer breaks, babysitting, and of course every holiday and family vacation. I keep telling you this, not to brag, but so you see God was at work. What kind of uncle wants to spend that much time with a bunch of punk kids? Apparently, I do.
If God was going to have me write this book for you guys, I had to have some personal investment in you. I needed to know you all very well, and that can only come with time and interaction. I had to be visible and active in your lives for you to get the most out of what I am writing to you. I had to be available to be a baby sitter on short notice. I had to be around when spring break came and your parent’s had to work. I had to be able to take time off or be unemployed to attend all the vacations we went on together. I always had to have July 4th off so I could see my nieces. All of the time God gave me to spend with you guys is not normal. It’s not normal to have an uncle who has been “in-between jobs” most of your lives.
Before I ever thought about writing this book for you, I was spending a lot of time with you guys. Once I realized God has a plan to use me to help you understand Him and the Bible, I took things to another level. I started “Operation Undercover Uncle.” You didn’t realize it, but I was like the family spy over the last 10 years or so. I watched you keenly as you grew up into the fine young men and women you are today. I listened to see how you responded when issues the Bible talks about were discussed. I wrote down the questions I heard you guys struggle to answer about God. I paid attention to see if you went to church and what kind of church it was. I was laser focused on getting to know you and what you knew about God.
I made sure I attended every event of yours I could go to. Haley was the oldest when Jesus took my wheel and made a U-turn. I didn’t get to spend as much time with her or Nikk as the rest of you, because they were both older and didn’t need babysitting when I started my undercover work. One of the reasons I include so many pictures of you guys in the book, is so that you don’t forget that I’m not just some chump off the street, I am your uncle Bill, and we spent a lot of great time together. The pictures prove I was there for all those events, in case you forget when you get older. All of it is a testament to God at work in all of our lives.
My undercover work didn’t go so well at times. I almost blew my cover on many occasions, and worse yet, I almost blew my opportunity to get some of you to listen to me about God. I told you the Bible should have a warning label on it… Zeal is a word you hear in the Bible a lot. It’s the Bible word for passionate or enthusiastic. Uncle Bill had zeal for the Lord, for example. Well, uncle Bill had lots of zeal for the Bible and making sure everyone knew what was in it. I just failed miserably on most of the opportunities I had to actually teach others about it. You don’t need a Bible study for teachable moments, they happen all the time around us. It’s the in person, out of the blue, spur of the moment, teachable times I struck out at the most.
Poor Haley. Since she was the oldest, she got to experience Uncle Bill’s “I’m gonna let everyone know they are wrong” side effect. She had friends over to the in-laws and I acted holier than though when they came back talking about the rocks and crystals in Sedona. The buildup started earlier when my mother-in-law was showing me some of the rocks they got up there. I kept hearing things like this one is for healing, this one for protection, and there was one for spiritual something or another. I literally was just studying about the Israelites and their fake gods they started to worship, and how God kicked them out of the land over it. Many worshipped trees, and other parts of nature too.
I couldn’t hold back anymore and just went off about how ridiculous all this spiritual rock and crystal stuff was. I should have just sat there and soaked it in so I could write about it later, but nope. I went nuts, and then ended up leaving before I lost it any more. I didn’t understand how they could think a rock could help them. I got home, and later got a text from Haley. She was mad at me for acting like a punk in front of her friends. (my words, not hers) I typed out a reply right away saying “ thank you for letting me know, love you”. That is what I should have sent, but nooooo… I cleared it out and started ranting about worshipping rocks and how crazy that is. Nobody was worshipping rocks, uncle Bill overreacted. We went back and forth for a few more texts, before I let it go. Dumb. I felt bad every day for almost a year. I wanted to reach out every day, but I didn’t want to blow it.
How could I let my favorite niece (whoops lol) be mad at me for that long? All I know is that I wanted to reach out, but I never did. Maybe there was a reason for that? Finally, not long before our annual trip to Hawley lake on the 4th of July, Haley texted me telling me that she loves me and doesn’t want to fight or for it to be weird up camping. I was in San Diego on vacation with most of you when I got that text. I doubt you noticed, but I had a lot more pep in my step after that. What a relief that was!
Now, I ask you again, does any of this sound like normal behavior to you? First, why did every ounce of my body ache listening to the descriptions of what the rocks and crystals supposedly do? Was it because it was so fresh in my mind from my studying of the Bible? Why couldn’t I stop myself from clearing out my original text reply and instead babbling on about how I was right? Would most uncles worry about it day after day, or would the worries of their own lives take priority? I learned a lot from this experience, and that is exactly what God wanted from it.
The next people on my holier than thou tour were my sisters and parents. I had been on a few vacations with the AZ nieces and nephews, and I learned from my undercover work that you didn’t know a whole lot about the Bible. I decided I would go to your church for Christmas one year. That didn’t go well. I didn’t flip out and leave the church in the middle of the service, but I wanted to. They had some missionary “healer” lady who spoke about her escapades in some other country. It was Christmas, and I was listening to someone tell me these wild stories about healing miracles? I believe God heals people all the time, but being healed of what ails us in this physical body that is dying, is not near as important as healing our soul that will live forever.
I went home and started watching videos of past sermons on your church’s website. No lie, I spent several days watching videos of sermons non-stop. I took a half of a notebook full of notes as I watched. I paused it to make sure I heard something right, and I paused it when I needed a break after what I just heard. So, after 3 days listening to more sermons from your pastor than any of you have, I decided texting the whole family about my frustrations would be a good idea. Again, I had to let everyone know that I thought their church was horrible at preaching from the Bible. I had to tell them I didn’t think you guys were going to learn anything there.
I rarely heard the pastor mention how someone is saved in all the videos I watched, and the little Bible preached was all from the same 4-5 books of the Bible. Almost all the sermons were filled with stories of the preacher’s time in some other country helping out those in need with shoes. There was always another book that was promoted besides the Bible. Either some Christian author, humanitarian, or the preacher’s own book. It was all milk, there was no meat, no bread to anything I heard. Anyway, that went about as well as you would have expected. My sister was pretty upset about it. I put her and all the family on the defense, why wouldn’t she come out swinging? I remember thinking I thought the whole world was against me. First the incident with Haley and the mother-in-law, now this?!! What in the heck is going on? Why do I care that much? Why did I have to watch hours and hours of sermons just to prove a point? Why did I have to send that text? Yet another experience I learned a lot from.
The next blow-up came at my dad’s expense, and it ended up being about your church again. Dad was trying to be the peacemaker so he asked me out for a walk. We didn’t talk much about the church until we got back by the cars. I told him the main mission of the church is to teach the congregation and to help unbelievers know how to be saved. Everything a church does should be centered around training and shepherding your congregation. We didn’t see eye to eye on this one, and out of frustration, I threw my water bottle on the ground and took off. He didn’t want to listen, he just said I was wrong.
I went home and skimmed through the whole Bible looking for the verses that supported my view of the church. I worked on it non-stop from the time I left the park until a few days later when I sent it to him. The word doc I sent him was 13 pages long! It is filled with Bible verses talking about the role of the Church. Who does that? A crazy uncle who is trying, and failing, to look out for you guys. Did we go through the doc verse by verse to see what was right? Not yet. (LMK if anyone wants to read the word doc & I’ll send it)
There are many more stories I may get into later, but I feel bad enough for now. I could have, and should have, handled all these situations better. One of the reasons I wanted to tell you about this is because I want you to see how unusual all of this is. The way I handled things was pretty crazy. I wish I could explain the side-effects I had. I wasn’t thinking I was better than anyone, I was frustrated that no one would believe me about what is in the Bible. It’s like I was speaking a foreign language.
I got like this when I was trying to look out for you and what you were being taught. I had control over what Zach learned first, but I have no control over what you guys did. I didn’t care if it was coming from your church, your teachers, or your parents, I wanted to make sure you got the truth from the source…the Bible. It’s not about who is right or who is wrong, it is about taking the time to do your homework and figure it out for yourselves. God is not a God of confusion; He wants us to understand Him and His plan. It’s not rocket-science, yet so many treat it like it is. You guys mean everything to me. Making sure you have the chance to know the truth is all I care about. I’m selfish, I want to spend eternity with every one of you! I am trying to leave as little doubt as I can that I did my part to share the truth and keep you away from false teaching.
Another side effect I got from ingesting the Bible every day was guilt. The more you learn about what God has done for us, the more you want to please Him. The Bible tells us the best way to please Him is to obey Him. You just read about how I did anything but obey God most of my adult life and look where that got me. I started to feel guilty about a lot. I started writing posts on Facebook telling Zach I’m sorry for letting this world get into such a mess. I told him that it was me and my generation’s fault we are in the state we are in as a country right now. I wrote apology posts to my grandma, my parents, my wife, and all the people I treated badly in my life. I’ve included a few for you below.
There are side-effects for almost anything you do. Some are good side-effects, some not so much. Although your Uncle Bill didn’t handle the learning lessons God sent his way very well, I am much better prepared to handle it going forward. God also made sure I got to learn these lessons with my family who can’t disown me. lol
The “I’m Sorry Phase Posts”
Hi Grandma Landis.
I never told you how much I love you. I don’t think I even said the words very often. I was too busy thinking about you nagging me. I didn’t realize until later that you had every reason and every right to give me grief.
Maybe you will think what I used to do to you is funny now. Hopefully you can see the changes I am trying to make in my life. I know someday I will get my payback; it might be from my own grandchildren when I get older.
I’m sorry for taking out the tobacco from your cigarettes and replacing them with random household spices and mustard to hold it all in. I still think you never knew, you never said anything about it.
I feel bad about cranking up the music on the intercom system when you had just fallen asleep. I won’t soon forget you coming out of your room screaming “you damn kids, turn that radio down!” I think I blamed it on Ken or Christian, I can’t remember now.
I feel horrible about loosening the bolts on your extendo-toilet seat. I am thankful you never fell off of it.
How about the time my parents were out of town and you were charged with watching all us rascals. You kept asking me what was going on as girls kept coming in to use the restroom. “I just have a couple friends over” I told you. “We are just swimming out back”. Well, your suspicions were correct, I was having a party. There were about 20 people out back, but I only let the girls come in to pee. Yes mom, I am finally admitting that it was my bag of empty beer bottles out in the middle of the alley behind our house. And yes, those were my beer bottle caps you randomly found around the house over the months that followed. We would flick them with our fingers to see who could make them fly the farthest; we just couldn’t find all of them.
Grandma, I still can’t believe we would call you from Aunt Joyce’s house (before caller id) saying in our best Colonel Clink voice: “this is the Gestapo; you are to report to headquarters immediately or will be shot. Do you understand me Lillian?” Yes, that was me, even though I didn’t admit it when you asked me: “Billy did you crank call me? Someone said something about shooting someone”.
One of the worst I remember was when Ken just moved out here to AZ to stay with us until Aunt Joyce moved here. We devised a plan to really get you going. We sat on the couch while you sat in that chair of yours. It started when I put on my shoes and you asked me where I was going. I told you I was going to hang out with my friend. You wanted to know if I was taking Ken with me. I said “no, I don’t like him. I don’t want him to go”. You were so mad that you started that thing where you say all your grand-kids names before you finally got to the right one: “Wendy, Kristi, Tommy….Billy.” You couldn’t believe I just said that with Ken sitting there acting all lonely and depressed. “He’s no fun grandma” I said. Inside Ken and I were busting up laughing; you just about had a heart attack. Sorry grandma!
When I look back and think about all the rotten things I did to you, it’s partly because we spent a lot of time together. I understand now how lucky I was to have you around. Ken and I both cherished the times we came to visit you in the nursing home those last years of your life. We had some great conversations and I remember feeling like I could just be myself around you. It made my day.
The day you died I showed up at the nursing home before you took your last breath and went to heaven. I remember everyone was there huddled around you. You hadn’t said much all day and you weren’t in the best spirits. When I walked in the room, you perked up, smiled and said “hi Billy”. After all I did to make your life a challenge you didn’t hold it against me.
As Ken and I drove behind the hearse in your funeral procession, I couldn’t help but feel you were there with us. It was an incredibly beautiful overcast day and Ken and I cruised with the top down in my old Toyota. We still talk about that drive all the time, it was almost magical.
I love you and miss you. I promise things will be different with me next time I see you.
Your grandson,
Billy
Tillie and Abe.
I want to thank you for having such a big impact in my life. Not many people would have accepted all us crazy friends of Gabby and Tommy. You guys opened your house up to us at all hours of the day and night. You fed us, gave us a place to crash, and offered lots of great advice when we needed it. You treated me like one of your own kids.
I learned a lot about what grace looks like from you. Yes, you got mad at “pinche Bruno” many times, but you never held it against me for very long. Usually by the next morning you were saying “mijo, come get some breakfast”, again taking care of me. I was also amazed at how hard you and Abe worked. Especially impressive after we woke you up at 3am the night before.
I’m sorry it has been so many years since I’ve seen you and Abe. I should have come over to introduce you to my son, he is 11 now. I think part of me wanted to wait until I was successful or finally finished my book. I wanted you guys to be proud of me, and I didn’t feel very good about myself so I shut everyone out.
You and Abe mean more to me than you will ever know. I have many great memories of the time I spent with you. Todos ustedes son mi familia!
Thanks for putting up with my sarcasm and smart-ass mouth. Thanks for always being such great examples for me to follow. Your marriage was always what I wanted mine to be like when that day came. You showed me a lot about how important family is. I’ll never forget it.
I know it has been a long time, but I promise to try and make up for it. I told Gabby it would be great if we could all get together sometime over the holidays.
If you guys ever need ANYTHING, I will be there for you like you were always there for me.
I love you guys,
Guillermo
Mom, I am sorry for all the stupid things I did. I am sorry for not realizing sooner how big of a role model you were. I’m sorry for lying to get my way.
I’ll never forget coming home late one night to see all my clothes you told me to pick up off the floor in my room now laying on the bushes and ground outside my window. I won’t forget coming home from a night out partying with my friends and finding my bed in the garage because I didn’t make it before I left like you told me to.
I’m sorry for being so stubborn and actually sleeping on the bed in that hot garage that summer night just to prove I didn’t really care about it, or that it didn’t really bug me. I wouldn’t let you win. I’m sorry for always scheming my way into you giving me money or using some “spin” to get out of doing chores.
I should have realized this sooner, but you are the most generous, loving, and gracious person I know. I am so happy I am finally starting to take after you. So many things I learned from you and dad I am trying to pass on to Zach.
I deserved every punishment you and dad gave me, and probably much more. I thank you for dragging me to church every Sunday and Wednesday night. I appreciate the example you both set for me.
I would not be who I am today without your love and praise.
I love you!
Your son.
I just turned 18 a few days earlier when I decided to go get my first lottery ticket. Maybe this was the way I was going to get rich. I felt it! God was going to take care of me! I sat at home watching tv with my dad that night and anxiously waited to see my winning numbers get drawn. I can’t say dad was really watching, as usual he was half asleep. Then came the moment I was waiting for my whole life. The drawing was almost here, I was soon to have it all! Suddenly my dad woke up and said “son, you need to take out the trash, they are coming to pick it up tomorrow”. Knowing me, this was probably the 10th time he had to remind me.
I pulled out the lottery ticket from my back pocket and held it up to show him. In the cockiest way I knew how I said “see this dad, I’m going to win. In the morning, I am going to pay you to take out the trash”.
How many of you would have got away with that one?
Sorry Dad! Thanks for your patience with me. I hope you are starting to see that the lessons you taught me didn’t just fall on deaf ears, but actually did sink in.
I love you,
Your son.
Son, first, you need to know what we are up against. You need to know what got us into this mess. I am to blame for much of what you are seeing wrong. If it isn’t’ apparent to you yet, there sure is a lot of “bad news” these days. It is no wonder I lost sight of what is important during times like these. Prayer and faith are the only things that can get us through. It took way too long for me to realize that.
I’m sorry I had to sit in my car for 15 minutes once I got home from work to cool off and let go of my anger and frustration. I’m sorry you had to witness me arguing with my family over things I had no control of. I’m sorry you had to hear me call our political leaders names and talk down about the great people of this country. Maybe you can reverse the curve.
Lord, thanks for this awesome responsibility! Thank you for the lessons you are teaching me every day. Thank you for helping me understand that I have to prepare harder for those who “think” they know your Word than I have to for those who have never read it.
I’m sorry I got frustrated tonight. I’m sorry I started to feel sorry for myself about how difficult this road you have me traveling down is and will be. I can read story after story in the Bible to see that these feelings are typical of all who know the Truth and try to help others realize it. I know I am not alone and you are always with me.
I’m trying Lord. Please continue to be patient with me. Please continue to use me as you will. Thank you for knowing I could handle it with your help. Thank you for equipping me with the tools to do the job. Thank you for creating me for this purpose.
Please help me worry more about what pleases you than what pleases others.
THERE IS HOPE MY SON 