As I told you all last week when I texted you, I am writing this book in real-time each day.  I know what I want to write about, I have an idea how it should flow, but I am leaving it up to God to direct it.  Because I am writing the book this way, I have to go back and read it all from the beginning each morning before I start working on the next piece of it.  I want to make sure I am not jumping all over the place with my thoughts and that it comes out organized and easy to read.   It’s weird writing a book without an outline, but it’s also very exciting.   

This morning, when I was reading back through everything I’ve written so far, I started to question a few things.  I just spent 2×12 hour days writing the creation section in chapter 1, and all I could think about was that it wasn’t enough.  I couldn’t help but want to add more and more to it.  There is so much to the creation story that I didn’t share.  I want to dive deeper into it, but it would take up my whole book, and I didn’t think that was God’s purpose for it.  He has His own Book with all the detail. 

Because I’ve been waiting for almost 40 years to write this book, I question when things are going well with my writing. This morning, I started wondering if God really wants me to write the book now.  Maybe He was actually trying to tell me to start my Bible studies first, so I could go into all the detail and tell you the whole creation story.   Maybe I just got the signals mixed up.  I do have everything already set up for Uncle Bill’s Bible Hour. (yes, that’s the name I came up with lol)   I have the green old man chair, the camera and mic, and I’ve already checked the lighting and acoustics.  Maybe that is what God wants me to do.  I can always put the book on pause for a while….

Well, that didn’t seem right either.  Ugh, what do I do?

I decided to go for a walk with the pups and get some fresh air. As we walked, I kept questioning  whether or not I was doing what God wants.  It’s all I could think about for some reason.  As I let my mind question things over and over, I started to doubt.  Maybe I was wrong about all of this?  Maybe I’m getting ahead of God’s plan by starting the book now? Maybe He has more training He wants me to go through first?  Maybe I’m not a mature enough Christian yet?  Maybe I need to keep working on myself before I jump into all this?

Before the questions in my head got out of hand, I got home. I plopped down on the couch, turned on a “relaxing sounds of rain video” from YouTube, and got ready to pray and ask God if He would confirm what I should do.  I do this a lot, but not enough.  I usually try to keep the surroundings as quiet as possible, but then the darn dogs start barking at every noise they hear.  So, I turn on the rain sounds.  It distracts the pups, but doesn’t distract me when praying or deep in thought.    

Today, I literally just closed my eyes to start praying, when I heard the sound of a text coming through on my phone.  Normally, I don’t stop praying to look at a text, but I was waiting for an answer from God on what to do, so I checked it.  It was a text from one of your moms, telling me that she heard the introduction of my book, because one of you read it to her.  She wanted to follow along as I write it. 

Wait, what?????  I didn’t even get the question out before I got an answer?

I laid back down and started to think about it some more.  I was half blown away by it all, and half skeptical because it happened so fast and was so obvious.  I started thinking maybe the text wasn’t a sign/answer.  Am I overthinking this?  Maybe it’s just a coincidence?  I don’t get a lot of answers this fast and this clear, so maybe it’s a fluke?  Before I could stew in my own thoughts much longer, I got 2 more alerts  back-to-back on that same phone. I jumped up to read them, half expecting to see a spam text or an alert that The Golf Warehouse is having a sale.  Instead, what I saw were 2 notifications from my website. 

The first one said this: “people are liking and reading your book”. 

The next one was a comment from one of you. This is what it said: “This is the 2^nd thing I’ve read today after my Bible.”  “Made me cry”.  “Thank you for this gift, I am so excited to see what God has put on your heart”.

Well, I guess that takes care of my question!   3 alerts on my phone, all mentioning the book, right when I needed it?   Wow!!!!!  This type of quick and obvious answer from God is definitely more the exception than the rule, but God wanted me to show you it can happen this way.  I think that is why He made it so obvious this time.  I’m also quite sure He wants me to finally quit asking Him about it.  He will always answer our prayers in His timing, and in His way, we just need to keep our eyes and ears open. It is also awesome to hear at least one of you is reading the Bible! 

I missed so many attempts by God to guide me down the right path growing up.  When I did notice something, I called it a coincidence.  Most of the time I was too distracted and in my own world to spot them.  It was only after I started really paying attention to the signs, did I see more of them.  However, just like this morning, I still have moments of doubt.  The first text that interrupted my prayer should have been enough.  It shouldn’t have required the extra confirmation, but I am Glad God gave it to me this time.   

This is a pretty typical example of how it works when I try to understand all that God is doing in front of me and behind the scenes.  It can be bumpy, because God doesn’t usually come right out and clearly tell me all the answers I seek.  Sometimes it’s just a feeling I get that I can’t shake.  Sometimes a song, a Bible verse, or even something your aunt says out of the blue, can confirm an answer for me.  Lots of times I don’t get the answer until days, weeks, or even years later. 

Many answers won’t come until we are face to face with God.  This is what having a relationship with an almighty God,  who for the time being, is separated from us because of our sin.  But, just like this morning, God can also make His answers and guidance very clear! 

I won’t generally make a habit out of sharing comments I get about the book as I move through it, but today, God wanted me to put them in here so I don’t have to ask Him if I should be writing this book again.  It should have always been obvious, but it’s a process to learn to trust what God is telling me sometimes.