I have lots of undercover/spy work in my background, so when God asked me to keep an eye on you young whipper-snappers, I already had the experience.  My dad had a Dodge K car, and I used to pretend it was my undercover cop car because it fit the profile.  (Zach will probably know what that car looked like.)  I called it the “FBI-mobile”.  I didn’t drive it much, for obvious reasons, but sometimes Ken and I would take it out and park in front of people’s houses I knew.  Most of the people weren’t major criminals, but I could see them peak out of their windows, and sometimes come out to their car, like they were getting something out of it.  When they looked, we would act like we were writing something down or calling for backup on the CB radio.  This is what life was like before the internet.  It was hilarious.  I would sit there for an hour if I saw anyone checking me out from the house.  I remember a couple people bringing it up that next weekend, but they never knew it was me. 

So you can see I was a natural at the spy game.  Another time I sat outside all night waiting for some young punks who tried to prank my house.  They filled up my recycling bin with water and leaned it up against the front door. The plan was that I would open the door, and 30 gallons of water would flood inside the house and on me. (see pics)  Luckily, we don’t use the front door, and I noticed it when I came back from the store.  That night I waited for them, and I parked my car down the street so if the turkeys ever came back, they wouldn’t suspect me.   I got tired so I set up a chair in my backyard by the gate and kept an eye out front.  They are lucky they never came back.  lol

The funniest time was when I lived in Tempe with all my buddies.  There was a 7-11 right across the busy street.  The payphones were always in use, and they usually had lines.  Yes, the payphones again.  This is was what you had to do if you were on the road, and lots of people bought alcohol there so it was always busy.  Every day around the same time, we would see the same guys hanging around the phones being all suspicious.  They were always looking around, as they made and received calls there.  We decided to spy on them, so we wrote down the phone numbers of the payphones when they weren’t around.  We walked over to 7-11 at least 3 times a day for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, so there were plenty of opportunities. 

The next night the payphone crew was back, and we had a great view of the payphones.  Some nights, just hanging out on our patio watching the 7-11parking lot, was entertainment for us.  If you went upstairs in our condo, you would have an even better view, so I’d go upstairs and call the pay phone: 

ring ring: (the recognizable sounds of a payphone ringing)

Cut to: sketchy looking guy in a green shirt

guy: ”Yo” 

me: “Sup dawg?” 

guy: “What you want?” 

me: “what you got foo?” 

guy:  “What you need?” 

me: “How much you got?”

guy:  “how much you got”?

me:   “ I got enough to afford better clothes punk”

guy:  “What you talking bout?  Who gave you my number?”

me:  “Your momma gave me your number foo.  She told me to tell you that green shirt is ugly dawg”.

Guy starts looking around, wondering what the heck is going on. 

me:  “This is Tempe PD; you are using this phone to conduct illegal narcotic transactions.  We are on the way.”

He would start looking around, we would duck.  It was pretty funny.    We used to call the phones just to see if the rando walking by would answer it.  One time we got girls who just bought a bunch of alcohol to answer the phone.  We talked the ladies in to coming across the street to party.  Good times.

I now have over a decade of spying on you guys under my belt, and I gathered a lot of intel during that span.  You already know that God gave me plenty of time with you guys, and that time allowed me to get lots of insight I needed for this book. 

What I observed were some of the most amazing, kind, honest, and caring young people in the world!  I have to be the luckiest uncle there is!  God wanted me to spend a lot of time with my nieces and nephews, and He couldn’t have given me a better bunch.  Thank you for always wanting to hang out with me. (or at least faking it well)  Thanks for always talking to me about all kinds of different of things.   God definitely blessed me when you guys were born.    

So what did the family spy discover?  

For one, it made a big difference growing up in Baptist churches.  If you compared my behavior at age 17, verses your behavior at that same age, you would see a remarkable difference.  If I took a poll of 100 people, and I had them watch a brief flashback of all of our lives, 100 of them would say I was the kid who didn’t go to church.  My behavior was horrible; yet all you guys are little angels in comparison?   That goes to show you that you can’t judge a book by its cover.  Just because little Billy walked in and out of church thousands of times, doesn’t mean he’s a better-behaved kid than those who didn’t. 

You can be a Christian on the inside, but look nothing like one on the outside.  You can be an unbeliever on the inside, but look nothing like one on the outside. This is what makes it so hard to identify who is a saved and who is not.  There is no secret handshake Christians get to help identify each-other.  Any one of you could tell me you believe, (and I would trust you) but there is really no way to prove it.  Baptism is about as close as we can get to knowing.  It’s rare that someone who doesn’t believe in God will go through with a baptism in front of other people.  We have an example of that in our own family.  Still, under pressure from parents, or from the church, unbelievers do get baptized.  There are also many Christians who have never been baptized, so that won’t help anyone be 100% sure.    

Here is what I do know… I didn’t have as many questions as you guys do about God.  Part of that is your church or lack of church, part of that is your parents not teaching you, part of that is on you for not listening if anyone did tell you, and part of that is the world we live in today.  I am sure there were tons of atheists out there when I grew up, but I never heard from any of them.  You are bombarded with more false information about God in one week, than I was in my whole pre-internet life.  Before I started reading and studying the Bible, I couldn’t have answered most of the questions you guys have about God now.  Some of the questions you have, I never would have even thought to ask.  That is how different the worlds we grew up in are.  My faith wasn’t challenged every day like you guys had growing up.     

All of this was by God’s design, so I am not bagging on you guys or your parents.  Had you all gone to churches that preach the Bible consistently, maybe you wouldn’t need this book.  If you didn’t need this book, then what would I have done?  What else would be different?  Would I have had the same amount of time with you?  What if I had a career with a job that I worked at for 60 hours a week when you guys were younger?  Everything happens for a reason.  Of course, I would have preferred you guys knew more about God, because I know it would have helped you.  But maybe that’s why I am here, it sure seems to be my purpose.      

What I had growing up was an unshakeable belief that God created everything, including me.  If evolution was taught in school, I don’t remember it.  I knew creation history, so nothing ever got me to doubt where I came from.  On the other hand, I don’t know how you guys couldn’t have doubts about your origins.  In your lives, you’ve probably heard about evolution 10,000 x as much as you’ve heard about the creation account in Genesis. (and that is if you go to a church that believes in God’s creation story)   You need more info to defend Bible history than I ever needed, yet you aren’t getting near as much as I had. 

I listened as you talked about the preachers who drive Lambos, own jets, and live in multi-million-dollar compounds.  I noticed when Haley talked about all the billboards in the south and how they shout God at you, tell you that hell awaits, and crazy things like that.  I have heard some of you use the word spiritual in a sense I don’t understand, and I know is not the Biblical meaning.  I saw some of you disappointed when a preacher you liked fell from grace.  I saw some struggle to identify where the stars and planets came from.  In fact, I wrote down all of this stuff when it happened.  My decade of undercover work gave me some great insight into what this book should be about.  Spy-work was fun, and it felt like just hanging out with you guys, paying attention to you, and chillin, gave me everything I needed to write the book. 

One of the biggest areas of question from all of you was about creation.  That’s why I spent a bunch of time on it in my book, and I plan to do a creation vs evolution Bible study in the near future.  Another insight you needed more on is the sovereignty of God.  I wanted to make sure you guys heard that term and understood what it means.  I wanted to show you how you can tell God is in charge of His creation by what has happened, and is still happening in my life.  I am hoping you will have your own understanding and experiences watching God work in your lives someday, if you haven’t already.  I wrote about death, and why so much evil is in this world, because those topics came up a lot.  Everything I cover in this book I got from you.  

I know that the world you grew up in makes young people feel unimportant, and that your life means nothing.  I know what you are being taught in school, and what you are not hearing enough about in church.  I know they tell you this earth and universe is permanent, and we are the temporary ones, which is the total opposite of what God tells us. I know the majority of the world is wrong about who God is, and I want to help equip you for that challenge.  Most of all, I just want to make sure you know the truth so you can make a decision for yourself.   Without a doubt, God is real and the Bible is Truth. You can trust me, or go read it for yourselves.  I am also hoping that by reading about what God has done in my life, you will have more insight into who God is and how He works.  Everyone lives forever; it is where you live that matters.  I want you to live in the same place I’ll be in.  Heaven.  (more on this to come)

Thankfully, I learned from the side-effects I had early on.  I learned that you don’t always have to “tell” people about God.  In fact, there is a saying: “preach the Gospel at all times, and if necessary, use words”.  This time around I was determined to do more “showing” instead of “telling”.  How did Uncle Bill handle that situation vs what my teacher told me?  Why is my mom so stressed, when uncle Billy doesn’t have a job and he looks relaxed?  Why is uncle Bill so much cooler than my parents?  Why doesn’t uncle Bill get worked up over silly little things?  When we are on vacation, I’m never glued to my phone, because I am talking with you guys. I want to show you how important you are to me.

Tell me that you haven’t noticed uncle Bill is different.  Before you think anything, I mean in a “good way” different. lol  You’ve seen the unnecessary stress on family vacations and holidays; I made sure I was carefree and go-lucky uncle Bill.  I didn’t just show up every once in a blue moon to your events, I was consistent in attending most of your things, for most of your lives.  I made fun of other adults, and took your side 90% of the time.  Most of the time you saw me I didn’t have a job, but I made sure you knew I wasn’t stressed.  Stress is something you can’t hide for long, so you would have noticed if I was faking it.  Do you know any adults who are not afraid to die, and would be perfectly fine if it was today?  Most of you know I live like that now. 

There is absolutely no doubt that you can see the peace I have.  Now that you have this book, you don’t have to guess as to why I have it.  Peace comes from understanding.  I tried extra hard when I was around you to show you how different I am now.  I’ve tried to model what God expects me to be to all of you.  I have failed many times and succeeded some as well.  I’ve tried to show you how different I am because of my relationship with God.  I know you are all very perceptive and can tell when adults are being hypocrites.  I talk to you a lot and try my best to always listen attentively.   

Below is the large poster size sheet I used to write down the topics I got from being a spy.  Don’t worry, I am not going to cover all of that in this book, but it will make great Bible study topics down the road.