He is there with you right now. All you need to do is find a quiet place and talk to Him. Let Him know what’s on your mind. Let Him know you need His help.
Let Him know you love Him and that you are sorry you don’t lean on Him more. Let Him know you remember what He taught you about fear being the opposite of faith. Let Him know you are struggling with it.
Then listen. Sit there for a half hour. Let God know you are serious. There is nothing He loves more than when we admit we need Him and we can’t do it on our own. He won’t tell you “I told you so” and He won’t force you to love Him and rely on Him.
It’s not too late. Get on your knees.